You know how it is when you have the feeling that something’s wrong but you can’t, or won’t, figure out what it is, don’t you? That’s how I was feeling. Not good or bad. Still doing the things I knew I should be doing but things just weren’t right with me.
Then here comes Sis*.
Like the Dog Whisperer, she observed my behavior. Then Sister Whisperer that she is, she sits me down for a talk. Physically, she says to me, you don’t have cancer. But mentally, you still have it.
My eyes opened wide and I started to object and defend myself but I couldn’t. I knew instantly she was right. I still think of myself as having cancer. Of course, barely two months out of treatment, and with scans and checkups popping up every three month for the next couple of years, it’s understandable. But that’s not how I want to live the rest of my life.
I’m cancer-free. Period. No "at the moment" added.
I’m cancer-free and going to live like it!
I’m painting pretty pictures every day I possibly can.
I’m designing our new house for our new piece of land.
Maybe it’ll be a bed and breakfast. Who knows but I’m living in the future from now on. I never realized how important that is. Yes, I’m living every day fully too but without tomorrows, "every days" aren’t whole.
How are you living your life?
*Sis had great scans at MDAnderson herself. Her lung tumors are almost gone. She’ll remain on this current chemo, which seems to be working miracles, for another four month, then she’ll come down from Denver for more scans…and hopefully, won’t have to kick my fairy "tail" again.
Love – and I do love you all,
