SHUFFLE, Chapter Fifteen

I tried to stretch the ache out of my muscles when I woke up but only succeeded in banging my arms against the steering wheel. I opened my eyes.

Where was I? Some cowboy’s truck? Heaven help me! Had I stooped that low to get dates?

I looked down at my janitor’s clothing and the events of last night rushed back into my brain. The monster truck, kidnappers, Runt in trouble ─ things I didn’t want to think about. I shook my head to clear it and peeked over the truck’s window edge. I almost passed out again seeing how far down to the ground it was.

I was in an empty warehouse, and I do mean empty. Nothing was stored in the steel building. No men worked there. It was clean and new. Spotless. Skylights and florescent lighting lit the place up, but for what I didn’t know. There was absolutely nothing to see.

Just the monster truck and little ol’ me inside the building.

Me. All by myself.

Alone.

“I’m outa here!” I said to myself.

I opened the door of the Dodge.

HONK! HONK! HONK! HONK!

The noise from the alarm almost knocked me out of the cab. I grabbed hold of the armrest and lowered myself down to the floor. A bathroom sign on a door across the warehouse beckoned me like a hawker at a country fair carnival.

HONK! HONK! HONK! HONK!

Eddy came running from the back of the warehouse. So much for being alone in the warehouse.

HONK! HONK! HONK! HONK!

“WHERE ARE YOU GOING?” Eddy yelled above the noise of the horn.

“SHOOT ME! I NEED THE LADIES ROOM!” I screamed back. And I meant it. I needed the bathroom and I needed it bad.

HONK! HONK! HONK! HONK!

I ran towards the ladies room, flew though the door, and slammed it shut behind me. The lavatory was dirty but useable. But then, in the state I was in, a bucket would have been useable. No windows, I noted, but it had tissue! Like all women I have a tissue issues!

The alarm system on the truck shut down. Thank goodness for that. I was on my last nerve. I hadn’t slept under my own sheets in days. I missed my pillow. I’d skipped more meals than I’d eaten. And truth be told, I was damn tired of being kidnapped almost every day.

OK, Shade hadn’t really kidnapped me. Toni, well, she was just being Toni. Once I figured that out, I wasn’t scared anymore. But this time! This time it the real thing and I was petrified. These men had guns. They’d killed Sloppy. They wanted Runt or else.

I wondered again if Toni had made it back to Shade’s place and if she had, were Runt and Shade looking for me? I was too hungry to think and I badly needed deodorant. Lord knows, I needed makeup. Not that I wanted to look good for these misfits. I just wanted to look good to get my edge back. I missed my attitude. I missed my life. I even missed Shade!

I splashed water on my face and under my arms. If stink was contagious, I’d caught mine from Tom and Eddy. No towels. They could get points taken off for that by the Health Department. I wiped my hands on my jeans and mustered the courage to walk back into the warehouse. Damn. I’d rather walk through cow poop!

I opened the bathroom door. There stood Eddy, hands on his hips.

“Where’s Tom?” I asked.

“He’s got business that ain’t none of yours! Get back in the truck,” he said.

“I will not!”

“Yes, you will. Tom said to keep you there so I can set the alarm and relax.”

“Well, I need to move around. I’m not used to sitting in one place for long periods of time.”

“You deal Hold’em. You ain’t no athlete. I’m not going to tell you again. Get into the truck.”

“ ‘Get out of the truck! Get into the truck!’ Make up your mind,” I said, remembering twice before when he wanted me out of a vehicle. Oh, yeah. This was the Fruit-of-the-Loom-holsterer from the stoplight. The same pants-digging, gun-toting dirt bag. I was sure of it.

“Listen,” I said, giving him my sweet smile. I’d never used it on a scumbag before. Well, besides Dante. “I’m bored in the truck. You’re bored in the warehouse. Let’s play poker.”

“Yeah, right!” He thought for a second, then added, “I got cards but no chips.”

That when I knew I had him. We’d play poker, all right. I’d baited the hook and pulled in a sucker. I tried to help his thinking along. “No chips? That’s not a problem. What do you guys have a lot of?”

He looked like he was studying on the matter. I again got the feeling that Eddy wasn’t a big thinker. I didn’t offer to play with the wad of money I’d won off Dante. I wasn’t that desperate. Yet. The money was still tucked away in my bra, safe and secure. I don’t trust purses. I misplace them too easily, but bras have to stay with me out of necessity.

Eddy was still thinking.

“Peanuts? Matches? Candy?” I asked, pushing his thoughts along.

“Nah,” he said. “We ain’t got a lot of nothing’ here.”

“Popcorn? Jelly beans? That reminds me. I’m hungry.”

“I’m tellin’ ya, there’s nothing’ here. The only thing Tom keeps in this warehouse are sleeping bags and his medicine.” Eddy walked over to a sleeping bag and retrieved a tired bologna sandwich and a warm soda from a paper bag. He handed them to me and I was desperate enough to be grateful for the nasty meal.

“What kind of medicine?” I asked him, chewing on a big bite of stale bread and limp meat. “Pills?”

He walked over to his bedding and laid down his gun. He needed both hands to pick up all of Tom’s plastic medicine bottles and bring them back to me. Maybe I could keep him distracted and he wouldn’t remember his gun again.

“You know,” he said, “aspirin, vitamins, some doctor junk. Stuff like that.”

“Well, it’s a first for me but let’s play with these.”

“You’re kidding,” he said, but I shook my head no. I definitely wasn’t joking. I needed to play poker.

OK, maybe I am addicted to poker.

I looked over Tom’s stash of pills and decided the cheap aspirin would be dollar chips. The vitamins with extra C would be five dollars each. The antibiotics (I didn’t even want to know what they were for), twenty-five dollars each. And the nine Viagra would be hundred dollar chips. Go Viagra. Tom must have a little problem in the sex department.

Eddy dragged in a rickety old table and a couple of chairs from the connected office area. I inched towards the sleeping bag and the gun but before I could make it all the way there, Eddy hurried past me and retrieved it. He stuck it in the back of his waistband and picked up a deck of old and tattered cards, their box gone long ago.

“I saw what you were up to,” he said, pushing me towards the table and chairs. “Don’t take advantage of my good nature. Sit! It was you with the hots to play poker!”

I sat before I ruined everything. I didn’t want to end up confined in the Dodge again. Playing poker for pills was a heck of a lot better than sitting in that monster truck with absolutely nothing to do.

I shuffled the cards. I didn’t even know if they were all there but if the player didn’t care, why should the dealer?

“Ante up,” I said.

He dropped an aspirin in the middle of the table. I threw in two.

“Why’d you get to throw in two aspirin?”

“Chips. Two chips.

“OK, but I only bet one chip. Why’d you bet two?”

I looked across the table at Eddy. Should I explain ‘blinds’ to him? Nah. We’d never get to the hole cards!

“You’re right. I should have bet only one aspirin.” I pulled the extra pill back into my stack.

“Chip,” he said.

“Right, again. Chip.” I dealt the hole cards.

“And you’re supposed to be the professional,” Eddy scoffed.

I shrugged my shoulders and looked innocent. It wasn’t the first time I played stupid to win at poker.

“Bet’em,” I said.

One more aspirin chip for each of us went into the pot. I burned a card and dealt the flop.

“What’d you just do?”

“When?”

“Right then! You put the top card under the aspirins! You’re cheatin’ already and it’s only the first hand!”

OK, I had a clue here. Not one for the Runt and biometrics situation but one for the Eddy situation. “Chips. Under the chips, Eddy, And all I did was burn the top card. Have you ever played Texas Hold’em before?”

“Burn it. You buried it under the aspirins…chips…hell, whatever you want to call’em! Just because I ain’t never played Hold’em before doesn’t mean you should try and cheat me. I ain’t stupid.”

I looked at Eddy but didn’t say anything. I just wrinkled my nose. He was stating his opinion of himself. I didn’t need to add mine.

My wordlessness must have shown my disdain because Eddy spoke up. ”Ah…well…ain’t Hold’em like regular poker only played in Texas?” he asked.

Hummmm. “Let’s start from the beginning. Texas Hold’em 101.”

Eddy learned slowly and was an easy mark. He had more tells than a dog in heat. He blinked his eyes, kneaded his mouth, and popped his knuckles whenever he had a playable hand. I checked or folded when that happened. An hour later Eddy was out of pills and I had more Viagra than I’d ever need or want. Somehow playing the game for pills wasn’t nearly as exciting as playing for big bucks with Dante.

“I guess I just don’t get all the fine points of Hold’em,” Eddy said.

Well, duh.

A key jiggled in the lock and we both turned our heads towards the office door. A distinguished-looking woman with white hair twisted into a bun at the base of her neck walked through the door. The gray suit said quality. Her soft pink blouse matched the pink leather bag and shoes. Glasses hung from a string of pearls around her neck.

I was up and out of my seat as fast as a rodeo horse is out a chute. Eddy was right behind me but somehow he got there first. Confused as what he should do next, he looked from one of us to the other, then back again.

“Eddy?” the woman asked. “Is everything OK here?”

I spoke up instead of Eddy. “I’ve been kidnapped! Please help me?” The woman looked blankly at me.

“Hey, Aunt Lois,” Eddy said. Again he looked from me to her, then back to me again. “That’s Mrs. Sirlo Senior,” he said to me.

“Mrs. Sirlo, I’ve been kidnapped! Please help me!”

“Aunt Lois,” Eddy said, “this is T.R.”

“I know, dear.” She patted me on the shoulder then turned to hug Eddy, “Eddy is such trash to have kidnapped you, aren’t you, Eddy?”

Trashy Eddy just smiled and nodded his head up and down.

“He’s not like my Tommy. Tommy is such a dear boy, not a bad bone in his body. Lord yes. Isn’t that right, Eddy?” Again Eddy smiled and nodded. Nobody mentioned the fact that dear Tommy had been in on the kidnapping also.

I probably looked like an armadillo suddenly on alert, my head cocked to one side, ears up, eyes confused by this new development. Mrs. Sirlo was OK with her son and nephew kidnapping me? I was doomed! Well, Shade had wondered who else was in on this takeover. I guess we had at least a partial answer.

“What y’all doing?” she asked.

“Playin’ poker. Wanna play?” said Eddy. “She already won all my chips from me. Except we don’t got no chips. We’re playin’ for pills.”

“Lord yes, I want to play. Are you playing Hold’em? I love Hold’em,” the older woman said.

Well, that confirmed my conviction that everyone loves playing Texas Hold’em. But it also emphasized the disappointing observation that this fastidiously dressed middle-aged woman with sterling silver Mexican combs in her hair would be absolutely no help to me in my current abducted status.

“Do we have to play with pills?” she asked. “I have lots of money in my purse.” I noticed how large her purse was and thought again of the money safely tucked in my cleavage controller. Always the gambler, I wondered if I could take advantage of the situation and add to my assets, money wise that is. I may be kidnapped but I smelled a sucker here. A sucker with money, not pills.

Mrs. Sirlo hauled her purse from her side and started rooting through it.

“Money? Real money, like in the foldin’ kind?” asked Eddy, “I think I could play better if it was for foldin’ money instead of pills.”

“Lord yes. Want me to deal? I can be the banker and the dealer.”

Lord yes, I said to myself as I shook my head, not believing the situation I was in. She might not have been the savior I was hoping for and I might still be kidnapped, but at least I was going to play poker with a live one.

Eddy dragged up another chair and I noticed the gun in his waistband was working its way upwards from his butt and I didn’t blame it. That’s the last place I’d want to be too but I felt the situation was dangerous. I could just see it falling out onto the cement floor and going off, shooting me in the foot or worse.

“Eddy, fix your gun,” I offered.

“Lord yes. In fact, put that thing away over there someplace,” Mrs. Sirlo said, pointing to his sleeping bag on the far side of the warehouse. “You’re going to accidentally shoot one of us.”

Eddy did as he was told and came back to the table. Mrs. Sirlo and I had already taken our places. She was generously divvying up her money. Lots of ones, fives, and tens. A large handful of hundreds. She couldn’t help but think she was running a numbers game on the side.

Mrs. Sirlo picked up the deck of cards and shuffled up.

“Now, dear,” she said to me. “I don’t know if all the cards are here. You’ll just have to trust me on that.” She cut the deck. I could see I didn’t have to teach her anything. In fact, I might learn a thing or two. It felt like I was watching myself in my old age, seeing my future. It wasn’t a pretty sight. If I ever got unkidnapped, I thought, I might want to get some addiction counseling to prevent this sort of thing from happening to me.

“Lord yes,” our dealer said. “Now these are hole cards. Let’s bet on them.” I had pocket rockets and a poker face.

“With our chips,” Eddy said, proud to know the poker parlance.

“Lord no. We don’t have any chips. We’re playin’ with real money.”

Eddy looked so dejected at his misuse of gambling jargon again, I almost felt sorry for him. Almost.

Two hours later I was one rich kidnap victim. Somewhere during that time I dropped the Mrs. Sirlo and started calling her Aunt Lois. I didn’t do it because I felt close to her. I just felt close to her money!

To be continued.

SHUFFLE, Chapter Sixteen

“Eddy, we need a break,” I said. “Here’s a twenty. Go get us some beer. Cold beer.”

“Lord, yes.” Aunt Lois tossed Eddy her car keys. “Use my car, honey. The police are on the lookout for the monster truck. And lock us in,” she said. “I don’t want our guest leaving while you’re gone.”

I raised my eyebrows at the mention of the police. Eddy took the keys and money and disappeared through the office door. “Yeah,” I said looking at the vehicle. “A monster truck with bright lime green flames and undercarriage would be hard to miss.”

“What?” Lois asked but I just lowered my eyes and started playing Solitaire. “Oh, I know my dear boys,” Lois continued. “Tommy’s not the brightest horse in the corral. And Eddy definitely isn’t. But they’re easily led and that’s important to me. That’s why I needed someone smart like Runt to help me.”

My hands stopped messing with the cards when she said my brother’s name.

“Help you?” I asked.

“I remembered him from when the boys were all in high school and all the trouble that child kept getting into with computers. Lord, yes. My dear Tommy did good in school but Eddy needed his grades changed a time or two.”

Yeah, I bet. “Let me get this straight. You’re the boss of this outfit?”

“Lord, yes. You think Eddy could be boss? Dear Tommy could but I just wouldn’t feel right about that. You know, being out to get his father and all.”

“So Tommy’s not trying to take over his father’s company?” I asked, but it wasn’t really a question. More of a statement. “You are.”

“Taking it over? I don’t think so. I don’t want it. I want to destroy it. Destroy Tommy’s father completely. Lord, yes. Destroy that man’s company, his life, his girlfriend’s life, their child’s life.”

Ohhhhh. Their child. A mistress and a love child. A mistress young enough to have a love child. Maybe I’d want to ruin the man, too, if that happened to me.

“If this affair has been going on long enough to have a child, why’d you wait this long to do something about it?” I asked.

“Lord, no. I didn’t wait long. They don’t have the child yet. The little bitch is pregnant. I believe you young people call it preggers. But I should have gotten suspicious when he started running little household errands. Grabbing a gallon of milk on the way home. Taking in the laundry. Picking up the cleaning. Humph!

“And she’s not even pretty! But, Lord, yes, she was sick the day I went in to see her, sicker than I ever got when I was pregnant. Of course, I’d seen her before. I’d just never looked at her when I went into that place. She must be a foreigner because her name is weird. She’s young enough to be Tom’s daughter! She’s Tommy’s age!”

Yuck. Senior with a woman my age? When there were men like Shade and Dante available? And with child by a man that old? He’d be in his late eighties at that child’s college graduation.

The relationship made my skin crawl between my shoulder blades. Tom Senior didn’t need Viagra. He needed ginseng to boost his brain power. I had assumed the Viagra was for Tom Junior. Maybe it was for Tom Senior. Wish I could get my hands on that medicine bottle again, for my own satisfaction. Well, not my satisfaction ─ definitely wrong word there. I meant for my own knowledge.

“OK. How does Tommy feel about ruining his Dad’s business and then destroying the life of his half-sibling?”

“How do you think he feels? His father has virtually left us high and dry for that whore and her kid. Tommy never gets to see the man anymore. His father doesn’t want him in his life now. Probably thinks he’s a reminder of me. His own child! And since Tommy’s an adult, Tom probably thinks he can take care of himself. Humph. Even adult children need fathers.

“After Tommy and I make his father’s life miserable, we’ll let him off with a little something and we’ll get a lot of something. Lord, yes. A lot of something.”

Suddenly I was mad. Very man! “YOU’RE SOMETHING ELSE!” I shouted. I stood up and walked away from the table, then back again. I knew my face was bright red with anger but I didn’t care.

“You scared the hell out of me, had me kidnapped ─ KIDNAPPED, FOR GOD’S SAKE! You killed my brother’s dog. All because of your family’s problems? Haven’t you ever heard of marriage counseling? Or divorce? Or even murder! Anything as long as it doesn’t involve my family!”

“Oh, we’re so sorry about the dog. I felt so bad when I heard about that. Eddy gets so carried away with that cowboy and Indian stuff. I think he watches too much Gunsmoke on TV Land. Lord, yes.”

Somehow I didn’t feel she really cared that much about Sloppy or our feelings for the dog.

“What’s gotten into you, woman?” I said, continuing my tirade. “I can’t believe you’d pull such a stupid trick. It’s bad enough you involved my brother but then to have me kidnapped? You’re insane! Tommy’s crazy! And Eddy…Eddy’s just plain dim-witted!”

From the blank look on her face I could tell my words didn’t mean anything to her. I settled down a bit to try another tactic. “You know, you really need to let me go so Tommy doesn’t have a kidnapping charge pressed against him.”

“Oh, don’t worry your head about that, dear. Lord no. As soon as Runt finishes up that old computer stuff, Tommy will let you go and everything will be fine.”

Fine? I wouldn’t bet on that. I’d been kidnapped one too many times this week to let this one ─ the real one ─ go by.

“Since I’m being held captive here, I assume Runt’s being forced to help Tommy now, as we speak?”

“Lord, yes. They’re both over at Sirlo’s right now with their heads together. Runt mentioned another friend, I think. A man named Clyde. Do you know him, dear?”

“Heard of him.” Yup, I’d heard of him. At least I knew things on the outside were rolling along without me.

I walked away from the table and back again. I thought about the gun in the far corner, but as lovely and ladylike as Aunt Lois seemed, I thought she’d probably be a scrapper too. We didn’t seem evenly matched. I was way younger but she looked to be in good shape. She also had her version of right on her side. I just had desperation.

I just couldn’t see me and the old lady sprinting across the room, then fighting for the gun. It wasn’t the form of gun control I’d be interested in. My winning streak might not hold up under those circumstances.

The hell it wouldn’t!

From a flat footed stance to an all out run, I raced around the table but it was like Aunt Lois knew I was going to make a move for the gun before I even thought it myself. She stuck out a dainty foot in a pink leather heel and sent me sprawling. I landed in a skidding five-point position. Nose, palms, and knees took the impact on the cement floor. I was still trying to get up when she leaped out of her chair.

Someone could have shot off a starter pistol and gotten the same reaction from Aunt Lois and me. We both started running towards the far corner. We were neck and neck, side by side, racing towards the gun. The slick leather soles of my cowboy boots and her low heels didn’t give either of us an advantage on the smooth concrete.

She threw her right elbow my way and gouged me in my side. I backhanded her with my left and had the satisfaction of seeing her head snap back. One of her heavy hair combs hit the floor. The blow stopped her in her tracks.

Lightning fast, her hand grabbed my shirt collar and jerked me backwards. The hold had me running in place, getting nowhere.

We were halfway to the gun.

A hunk of Aunt Lois’ gray hair fell loose from her coiffure and hung around her face. I grabbed hold of it and yanked with all my might. She tried to get a grip on the front of my shirt but got a hand full of titty instead.

I spun towards her, jabbing my palm upwards towards her chin. It connected hard but Aunt Lois wouldn’t let go of my titty. I was right about her being a scrapper.

I hauled her around in a circle by her hair, edging my way closer to the gun. She twirled me around by my titty, keeping me away from the far corner.

Round and round we went.

And then my bra strap ripped free.

The beautiful green American currency that I’d won from Dante flew out of my chest and fluttered to the warehouse floor. Both of us stopped where we were, still holding onto various body parts.

Aunt Lois must have felt silly standing there holding my titty because she let go first.

I felt silly too, standing there with one boob hanging out, holding the hair of a well dressed older lady, so I released my grip on her hair and straightened my shirt and booby as best I could. She pulled her hair back behind her ear and adjusted her skirt. We both were breathing heavy and sweating. I’m sure she would have used the more old fashioned term “glowing.”

“Looks like you had your own money to play with all along, my dear,” was all Aunt Lois said. She was between me and the gun. I stooped down and quickly gathered my money together. My broken bra would no long suffice as a safe so I stuffed the cash into my boot.

Silently calling an unspoken truce, we both walked with whatever dignity we could muster back to the table and sat down in the same seats we had before, like ladies gathering for afternoon tea. Deflated, I picked up the cards and dealt us a hand of Rummy.

Neither of us said a word. No accusations. No apologies. No exclamations. A new found respect for one another settled over us.

After of couple of hands of gentle card game, Aunt Lois spoke up. “I work out three times a week,” she said.

Oh. I continued to suck on my sore, bloody knuckle. “Guess I’m going to have to start working out myself,” I told her.

“How old are you?” I asked her.

“Sixty.”

Hmmm. Three times a week, huh? Wow. I’m half her age and don’t work out at all. And it tells. I can’t even beat an old lady in tit-to-hair combat.

Besides my bloody knuckle, my nose was bleeding a little and one booby was definitely hanging lower than the other from the broken over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder. Aunt Lois’s hair was no longer neatly contained in a bun. It hung in long, damp lanks down her back. One of her cheeks was red and puffy. Two buttons, breast high, had popped off her blouse. For the moment I’d have to be satisfied with those results.

Several endings to this whole kidnapping scenario played out in my mind. I didn’t like most of them. This gang of relatives was a rough one, led by a tough old broad.

The office door opened and Eddy, with a suitcase of beer, strolled back into the warehouse.

“Well, it’s about time, Eddy. Lord, yes,” Aunt Lois not-so-lovingly said. “Pop me a cold one and sit down. I’ll give you a little more money. We have to play poker. We’ve got to win some of my money back from this woman.”

I couldn’t believe she didn’t ask me to give back her original stake. Maybe she realized I would have won it anyway, even if I had used my own funds.

Eddy looked from one of us to the other ─ again. We both looked him right in the eye. He didn’t have the guts to ask about our disheveled looks and we didn’t offer an exclamation.

“Sit,” I said, and he did. Aunt Lois pulled the cards together and started dealing poker.

Eddy spoke up but not about our tousled looks. “What’s all them clothes hanging in plastic bags in your car, Aunt Lois?” Eddy tilted his can and guzzled his beer.

“Just my dry cleaning. You take care of your cards, boy. We’ve got to play catch up. My money’s on the line here.”

Aunt Lois’ purse was a never ending source of cash for her and Eddy, My side of the table filled up nicely as more piles of currency were added beside the pills. We gambled the late afternoon away. Eddy’s eyes kept wandering to my uneven chest.

The suitcase of beer emptied out, mostly into Eddy and Lois. I just nursed a couple of beers along since I wanted to keep my wits about me. For what, I didn’t know yet. With this crew, though, anything could happen at any time. That was obvious. I couldn’t beat them one-on-one so I knew two against one wasn’t going to work either.

“I’m hungry. How about a pizza?” I said.

“Pepperponi!” Eddy tried to voice his choice of topping, but with all the beer he’d consumed, there were just too many Ps for the word to come out properly.

“No. Vegetarian.” This was from Aunt Lois. I was thinking pineapple and ham myself.

“OK, trip pizzas. I’m buying,” I said.

“Lord, yes, you’re buying. Winner always buys. Beer goes right through a girl. We need more toilet tissue too, Eddy,” Lois said. Another woman with tissue issues.

“You two be OK here together?” Eddy asked, suspiciously. He seemed hesitant to leave us alone again but after Aunt Lois mumbled uh-huh, he dutifully stumbled out for take-out and tissue. It wouldn’t bother me a bit if he got picked up on a DUI. Friends don’t let friends drive drunk, but the TV ad doesn’t say anything about letting kidnappers drive drunk.

Aunt Lois used her cell phone once in a hushed voice. All I heard was, “Well, call me when it happens.”

Aunt Lois fixed her hair and dug around in her purse until she found a safety pin for my broken bra strap. It probably wasn’t so much about my comfort as it was about exposing Eddy to carnal knowledge. But I remembered the look in his eye when he reached out and touched Toni’s hair and I knew he already had that knowledge. Aunt Lois’ reality must be more skewered than I thought if she didn't realize that.

I washed the blood from under my nose and used the safety pin. I needed a bath, a change of clothing, fresh makeup, and deodorant. Especially deodorant.

With the break in play I pondered the May/December, baby chick/old dinosaur, sweet young thing/old geezer relationship Tom Senior was enjoying. Somewhere in that sexual mess was a puzzle piece my mind kept picking at, but I didn’t know what it was. Anyway, what did I care who old man Sirlo was doing? Why should I even be dwelling on it?

Eddy arrived with the pizza. He’d made a gigantic mental leap, at least for him, by stopping to get more beer too. Of course, he had forgotten napkins. And plates. We all ate out of the boxes just like we were friends sitting around having a good time. Poker night with pals!

Hold’em ate up the hours but we played out at ten thirty-eight that night. At least that’s what time Aunt Lois’ watch said. Eddy and Aunt Lois were worn out and broke. We’d finally gone through all the purse money. Taking a rough mental count, I figured I’d taken in over three thousand dollars in cash and pills. Add that to the three dimes plus I’d won off Dante and I was one rich kidnap victim.

Best of all, I’d learned what was behind this dog and pony show Runt was involved in. Now if I could only go home!

“OK, I’m beat. Take me home, Eddy,”

They looked at me as if I’d grown fangs, a little fear mixed with wonder. After all, I’d just won all their money, ate with them, drank with them, fought with them ─ well, at least with one of them. I was like an old friend now. Comfortable. Personable. A fellow poker player. A hell of a lot better poker player than them but, by golly, who wasn’t!

“Lord, no. You’re staying here, my dear.” Aunt Lois gathered the cards together while Eddy crushed empty beer cans on his forehead and threw them across the room.

Dejectedly, I laid my head down on the table. My arms hung below the seat of my chair, one hand touching Aunt Lois’ big pink purse.

Hmmm, I thought. If she carried that much money, I’m willing to gamble she carried a gun in her purse. But then again, I’m always willing to gamble. With my head still on the table, I silently scooted the purse over just a little bit, put my hand inside, and fished around.

Yup, a gun. Not that I knew how to use one but I could grab it with both hands and point it like they do on TV. This could be a big bluff on my part or I could actually have the internal hole cards to pull this off.

After all, how hard could it be to pull the trigger of a gun?

To be continued.

SHUFFLE, Chapter Seventeen

I took a deep, quiet breath and settled the gun firmly in my hand. Rearing up, I threw my chair backwards to make a lot of noise. The gun came up in the same motion and I two-handed aimed it, first at Aunt Lois, then at Eddy, and then back again at Aunt Lois.

Aunt Lois gasped.

Eddy, damn him, jumped straight at me.

To my own amazement, I didn’t hesitate. I pulled the trigger.

Boom!

A little gun makes a big bang in an empty warehouse. Luckily for Eddy, the gun was pointed between him and his aunt when I squeezed the trigger. The bullet blasted the pile of Viagra before going through the table and into the cement floor. Eddie froze in place.

OK by me. I couldn’t use the Viagra anyway. But I bet one of the Toms would be boiling mad. I hear those pills are ten dollars each. But worth it, I hear. Worth it.

I was in control now and it was intoxicating. “Jeez, Eddy, Don’t do that again. You just caused me to ruin the love life of one of the Toms. It could have been your love life that got obliterated, buddy. Now you two get into the bathroom.”

Neither of them moved so I squeezed the trigger again. This time the bullet nicked a corner of a face-down playing card and through the face-up ace of hearts before exiting the other side of the table.

“Oops, can’t use that deck again. Those cards are marked now. I’m running out of bullets, I bet. Either one of you two want to take that bet?”

I guess they didn’t. With one hand holding her blouse closed at the missing booby buttons, Aunt Lois backed across the warehouse to the bathroom. She gave me the evil eye all the way. Eddy stumbled after her.

“Tom will get you for this!” he slurred.

“Hey," I said, "so far he’s got me for stuff that wasn’t my fault so he might as well get me for stuff that is.” I used the gun to motion him backwards some more. He didn’t like it but he went. My two shots through the table must have proved I’d shoot him if he didn’t do what I said.

I trailed after them, dragging a chair behind me. Into the bathroom they went, Aunt Lois in the lead. She shot me another dirty look but it landed harmlessly as I closed the door and crammed the chair beneath the knob.

I knew the chair trick wouldn’t hold on the slick cement for long. I needed something heavier to secure the door but there was nothing in the warehouse except more chairs, the table, and the monster truck.

Oh. The truck. I removed the chair from under the knob, opened the bathroom door again, and pointed the gun at Eddy.

“Give me the keys to the truck.”

Eddy snickered and handed them over. “You can’t drive that truck.”

“Want to bet on that?” I said as I grabbed the keys out of his hand and closed the door again, replacing the chair. I pulled myself up into the monster truck and looked around.

OK, I understood the fascination with mammoth haulers. You feel on top of the world, superior to all the little people looking up at you. I turned the key and the big machine started up, rumbling and vibrating beneath me.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw the chair under the doorknob wiggle and slide down. The monster was making so much noise, I didn’t hear the chair fall. I put the truck into first gear, turned the wheels towards the bathroom door, and drove right up against it.

Shove that, Eddy. Good thing you didn’t take that bet. You would have lost ─ again. I shut the big truck down and lowered myself out of the Dodge.

Damn, I felt good. Now, let’s go see what Aunt Lois drives. It had to be something easier than the giant Dodge. A nice, simple, old lady’s car. As I grabbed her keys out of her purse, several pieces of paper fluttered out. I noticed the papers looked like a bunch of dry cleaner receipts, a big bunch of them. She must be the cleanest woman in town.

I started to place the gun back in Aunt Lois’ bag but stopped myself. It might come in handy since I didn’t know what Tom was up to. When this was all over with, I might just frame it. No, I thought. I’d trade it in for one of those little cowboy boot holster guns so I, too, could be in the in crowd.

Exiting the warehouse through the office, I headed out the front door. There sat a big, bright yellow Hummer, the only car in the lot. I guess lots of old ladies drive Hummers these days.

Damn, I should have taken a cell phone. Too late for that. I wasn’t going back into that warehouse. I was out and I was going to stay out. Maybe my own phone was still by the side of the road where it had landed when Tom and Eddy ran over the back seat of the Shade’s convertible.

I unlocked the Hummer door and climbed in. Not a big climb like the monster truck but still a climb. A quick visual of dainty Aunt Lois hauling herself into the Hummer flashed across my mind and for the first time in twenty-four hours I laughed out loud.

Eddy had mentioned Aunt Lois had dry cleaning in her car but I couldn’t believe how much was there. It filled the back seat and the Hummer had a big back seat. I thought of all those receipts in her purse. This woman had to be taking clothes to the cleaners every day.

I noticed a heap of thin, clear plastic on the floor next to a jumbled pile of pressed clothes.

Was she taking the same clothes to the cleaners every day? Why else would the pressed clothes be in a crumpled heap? But that didn’t make any sense. Why would a person do that?

I leaned down and grabbed a handfull of plastic to read the receipts still stapled to them. Crest Cleaners.

Crest Cleaners? Ca-rap.

Tom Senior had a young preggers mistress, a foreigner or so the name implied. He had been running all the household errands. Aunt Lois started running the errands again, especially the dry cleaning delivery and pickup. In fact, a whole wardrobe worth of dry cleaning and using her Hummer as a closet. A Crest Cleaners’ employee sick for weeks, months. An employee with a foreign-sounding name.

Weeba. Wallflower throughout high school. Too poor to go to college. Now pregnant with a married millionaire’s baby. I leaned my head against the strange steering wheel and tried to think straight, instead of the zig-zaggy thoughts I’d been having. I now had two loved ones in danger ─ Runt and Weeba. And neither knew about the other.

OK, I had to get my thoughts in order. I knew where Eddy and Lois were. They weren’t a threat to anybody since they were stuck in a windowless bathroom in the warehouse. I felt confident they would be staying exactly where they were ─ unless, of course, someone came along and moved the monster truck. Damn, I wish I had taken the keys to that monster truck! The keys and a cell phone. Too late for wish-I-hads.

Weeba was probably safe. Yeah, safe in the arms of her lover at this time of night. And good for her, I guess, although the visual of him using a walker, watching her dancing with men her own age kept popping into my head. I’d worry about Weeba tomorrow. Right now, Runt was the one who could be in danger. Who knew how Tommy was treating him at this very moment.

I stuck the key into the ignition of the Hummer and turned the engine over. It smoothly came to life like the mellow yellow it was. The beast drove great but I thought again of my faithful old Mustang just out of the shop and knew I’d be very glad to get back into that driver’s seat again. Little red convertibles, monster trucks, and Hummers are not for me. Just call me Mustang Sally, protector of friends and relatives.

Sirlo’s office building was only two blocks away, but before I headed there, I made a quick right and drove back to the scene of my kidnapping. It was a long shot that my phone would still be on the roadside and another long shot that it would be in any kind of working condition. But hey, I’m queen of the long shots lately.

I knew my cell would be mangled but it contained valuable names and phone numbers. If I didn’t go and get it, somehow it would find itself in Sonja’s hands and she’d try to take over all my customers with her wayward cowgirl approach to poker.

Little red fiberglass pieces of Shade’s car marked the crime scene. I parked the yellow Hummer and searched the road where I thought the phone might have landed, working my way back and forth in a grid formation. I didn’t have time to waste but I wanted my phone bad.

Nothing. I started back to the Hummer and was about to open the driver’s door when I heard a familiar little beep. I stood still and held my breath. There it was again. A low battery warning beep. I waited for another one, keeping myself alert for direction. In those weeds. Sure enough. But did it work?

I tested the phone by calling Runt. It rang but he didn’t answer. I didn’t bother to leave a message. I just wanted to see if the phone worked. I knew where Runt was ─ Sirlo’s!

This time when I arrived at Sirlo’s dock, the place was smothered in darkness and no friendly janitor awaited me. I drove around to the front of the building. Two cars I didn’t know were in the lot. A glow radiated from one of the rooms on the first floor. A different office from last night but the light was as good as a big X marked on a treasure map. It narrowed the game considerably.

I parked the Hummer and boldly walked to the door. It was locked, of course. I stood there counting my outs, jingling change and Hummer keys in one pocket and feeling the smooth green wad of won poker money in the other. My winnings from Dante were still in my boot, starting to rub blisters. Expensive blisters. I felt like a walking Fort Knox.

Hmmm. I pulled the Hummer keys back out of my pocket. I bet there was one special key on the ring, one that opened the door to Sirlo's. I tried each key unil the last one clicked the lock open.

I didn’t both to relock the door. After all, Tom was inside. With Aunt Lois and Eddy stashed away at the warehouse, I doubt if any more bad guys would be arriving. Anybody coming in from the outside would probably be a good guy.

Voices drifted down the hallway. An eerie feeling crawled my scalp. I mean, I was in the same place as last night, in the same clothes, with the same makeup, the same problems ─ except this time I was alone. I didn’t have faithful Casey and gutsy Consuelo for backup.

And tonight Runt was already in the building. When it all came down, it would be Runt and me against the world.

Quietly, I sneaked down the hall to the occupied office. I squatted down and peeked around the door frame. Maybe, I thought, I wouldn’t be caught out of the corner of Tom’s eye if I was way low.

Runt was at the computer. Tom was sitting behind him, cleaning his fingernails with a straightened out paperclip. No Clyde. I quickly pulled my head back into the hallway and listened. Neither man said a word for several minutes.

“Damn, Runt,” Tom finally said. “This computer snooping takes forever. I’d like to get to bed sometime tonight.”

“How do you think my sister feels?” I smiled at Runt’s concern for me.

“Mom says she’s happily playing poker,” Tom said. “Why’d we have to go through all that bullshit about biometrics and me forcing you into this, anyway?”

My smile froze on my face.

“Hey,” Runt said. “if this shit goes wrong, I want to be the fairly innocent victim in all this. She’s my alibi. You got family behind you. And family money. I got nothing until and if you get your hands on all your dad’s blackmailable secrets.

“You can go home if you want to,” Runt added. “I’ve got a couple of more hours work here.”

My brain went numb, my body paralyzed with this unexpected knowledge. Runt was playing me! His own sister! He really was neck deep in illegal activity.

And Mom was concerned because I deal poker in an underground card room. She’s been worrying about the wrong damn child! Oh God, this will break her heart.

No wonder Aunt Lois said not to worry about Tom facing kidnapping charges. I wouldn’t dare press charges against Tom because it would reveal Runt’s part in all this mess.

I needed to get out of Sirlo’s, to run as far away from Runt as I could. Only then could I begin to think this through. I forced myself to stand up and quietly hurried to the front door.

Damn, damn, damn. And damn again. I wanted my life back, the one I had last week when all I worried about was Whitey getting raided by the cops and H.C.s from gambling boyfriends. When Runt’s computer antics were limited to high school shenanigans, and Shade was just a semi-sweet memory, not the man I might be falling in love with.

Jeez, things had been so rotten in the last twenty-four hours, I hadn’t even had time to think about Shade telling me he loved me. At this point I didn’t care if he did or not. I’d never trust another man again. If my own brother would lie to me and put my life in danger, what would a boyfriend and lover do? Well, I guess I knew one thing they’d do. They’d write me a gigantic hot check!

But all that seemed meaningless now, my won money only paper.

I scrambled into the yellow brute and drove away. Automatically I drove to Casey and Ralph’s house. It was very late but the light in their bedroom was still on. I knocked instead of ringing the bell so I wouldn’t wake the kids.

“OhmygodTana!” Casey yelled when she and Ralph opened the door. So much for being quiet. She threw her arms around me and kissed me all over my face. “We’ve been so worried! Runt and Shade are going out of their minds!”

“Yeah? Runt? Really? Can I come in? I need to talk.”

Casey opened the door wide to let me in. Then we both looked at Ralph. “Yeah, I know. Goodnight.” He pecked me on the cheek, kissed Casey on the lips, and trotted off to bed.

“He’s such a good man,” I said before I began to bawl.

Casey and I sat on her couch. In between bawling fits I told her everything. She told me Runt had refused Clyde’s help. Duh, that’s a shocker. Shade was still driving around town looking for monster trucks and going crazy with worry.

The police weren’t involved yet. Casey trusted Ralph and had told him some of the stuff but it was getting harder and harder, she said, to keep him and the other cops out of this.

I told her how I figured Weeba played into it. If it hadn’t been in the middle of the night, Casey and I would have rushed over to Weeba’s apartment. She needed us. She was preggers by a married man.

“You’ve got to call Shade and tell him you’re safe,” Casey said.

He deserved that much. “Please,” I said. “Could you call him? I just can’t talk to him right now.”

“You’re going to have to at some point.”

“I will. At some point. But not now. Not yet.

Reluctantly Casey picked up her phone and dialed.

“Shade, this is Casey. T.R.’s with me here at the house…she’s fine. Wore out more than anything…No, don’t come over. Ralph’s here with us so she’s safe. She needs a bath and sleep. She’ll be here in the morning. Come over about noon…No, I haven’t heard from Runt…I’ll tell her. Bye.”

“He says he loves you. He wanted to come over real bad.”

“How could he be in love me? We’ve only been seeing each other a few days and that hasn’t really been dating. He’s just using me for some reason.”

“T.R., don’t feel that way. I think you’ve been in love with him since you dated in high school. You just wanted more attention than he was capable of giving as a young man. I think he really loves you. And always has.

Yeah, me and every other woman in the State of Texas.

I sat up straight and pulled myself together. “I don’t want to talk about Shade. I need to get back to Sirlo’s and confront Runt. If I catch him red-handed, he can’t deny everything like he’s always done in the past when he’s been caught after the fact.”

“We need a plan,” Casey said. I smiled at the “we” part. No wonder Casey’s been one of my best friends since grade school.

“We need something that shoves it in his face,” I said.

“Yup, and rubs it all around!”

“And we need witnesses,” I said with growing confidence.

“Ah…OK…witnesses. Like in…?” she questioned.

“Like in other folks watching the action. Like in so many folks seeing what Runt’s up to, he can’t lie his way out of it.”

“Ralph?”

“Not unless you want to bet your marriage and I don’t recommend that! I mean lots of folks. Folks that stay up all night and are always looking for action.”

“Oh-h-h-h. You mean poker folker.”

I just smiled and took out my recently retrieved, dilapidated, beeping cell phone.

Thirty minutes of planning and a database text message later, we were ready to go. We both shouted goodbye to Ralph.

“It’s after one o’clock in the morning,” a doubtful Ralph yelled back but we were already on our way out the door. “It’s after one o’clock in the morning, Katie Carol,” we heard again as we jumped into the Hummer, only this time he was cut off by the slamming of the vehicle doors. It wasn’t a good sign that he’d used her whole name.

To be continued.

SHUFFLE, Chapter Eighteen

Déjà vu is when you feel you’ve been in the same situation before. I don’t know what you call it when you feel you’ve been there three times in a little over twenty-four hours.

There was only one car in the lot now. Tom must have gone home like Runt suggested. All the better. Our plan was solid. Or plain stupid. At this point, it was a toss-up. I slid the big brute of a vehicle next to the remaining car and turned off the motor.

A deep nervous breath filled my lungs and I let it out slowly. I was a little scared our plan wouldn’t work. On second thought, I was very scared. My nerves were shot and I could barely maintain control of my bladder.

I wasn’t scared for me. I was scared for Casey and her part in all this.

“We’ve got to go inside the building for the plan to work,” Casey prodded.

“Yeah, I know.” I turned to Casey. “But I think you should stay here in the Hummer.”

“We’ve been over this twice now, T.R. Once at my house and once on the way over here. I’m going in there with you. You need my help just like you did in second grade when Frankie Williams pushed you into the deep end of the swimming pool. I was by your side then and I’m by your side now. Let’s go.”

Casey held up her little finger.

Slowly, I wrapped my finger around hers and we did our childhood pinkie shake, minus Weeba’s little finger.

“All for one and ice cream for all,” we said together.

I got to the big front door first and pulled the handle. Someone, no doubt Tom, had relocked it after I’d left. I’d love to have seen his face when he realized somebody had unlocked it after he and Runt had entered the building. Of course, with his brain power he might not have even noticed.

Digging into my pocket for the keys, I turned to Casey. She was standing there with a landscaping rock in her hands.

“What are going to do with that?” I whispered.

“I’m going to break the glass so we can get in!”

“I’ve got a better way,” I said, jingling Aunt Lois’ keys in front of her. I unlocked the door and quietly entered the lobby ─ again. Casey hid behind a sofa while I continued down the hall to the now familiar Sirlo office.

I didn’t like being back. And I really didn’t like Casey here. We had to carry out our plan, then get the hell out of Sirlos before anybody found us and blocked the exits. I hated the fact Casey was waiting back in the lobby. If trouble came her way, I wasn’t there to help her.

Halfway down the hall I called Runt’s name.

“Tana?” he called back. I ran into the office, pretending I hadn’t been there earlier.

“OhmygodRunt! Are you alone? Let’s get out of here.” I acted agitated and fearful.

“Tana, how’d you get here?”

“I was kidnapped but I got away and tracked you down here. We’ve got to get out of this building! Now!”

“Uh, Tana, I’m afraid to leave. Tom is somewhere in the building and he has a gun!”

“No, I saw him leave. Come on! Hurry!”

Footsteps echoed in the hall and we both stopped and held our breath, our eyes wide. The steps were faster now. Getting louder. Running towards us.

I turned to face the doorway and pulled the pistol out of my waistband, aiming it with both hands at the hallway. “You’ve got a gun?” Runt asked, astonished, but I ignored him and concentrated on who was racing towards us.

My hands were shaking so hard the gun bobbed up and down. Whoever it was could be tall or short. I had both ranges covered.

But the size turned out to be medium and as luck would have it, that’s where the gun was pointing when my nerves pulled the trigger. The explosion was enormous in the small office.

“JESUSCHRIST,” Runt shouted.

Ohmygod. What had I done?

I looked down at the gun in my hands. Damn! I’d pulled the trigger way too soon! I hadn’t even seen who was coming through the doorway! First rule of hunting: Know what or who you’re shooting.

I forced myself to look up. Casey was standing in the doorway holding her chest with both hands. Blood gushed from under her fingers and oozed down the front of her blouse.

She fell backwards into the hall.

“T.R., IT’S CASEY!” Runt yelled.

“OHMYGOD!CASEY!” I screamed at the same time.

We both ran to her side. I squatted down beside her. Tears rolled down my cheeks and dripped on her face.

Her eyelids fluttered. “Oh, Casey. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I thought you were Tom. I didn’t mean to do it. I didn’t mean to shoot you. Don’t die,” I pleaded with her. “Please don’t die. Your babies need you. Ralph needs you. I need you! YOU’RE MY BEST FRIEND!”

She was trying to say something. I leaned closer.

“My babies. My babies. Tell Ralph I’m sorry,” she whispered, her voice getting weaker and weaker. “Tell him I love him.”

I looked up into Runt’s eyes, then back at Casey. “I’ve got to stop the bleeding, Casey,” I said. “I’m going to push hard on your chest. Don’t be scared.”

I placed the heel of my right hand on her breastbone and leaned into her but the move only made the blood seep up between my fingers. Horrified, I watched it run under my fake fingernails and settle into the wrinkles of my knuckles. I’d never seen so much blood at one time in all my life.

She groaned weakly. Her eyes closed and her head gently rolled to the side.

“CASEY!” I screamed. “CASEY! CASEY!”

For a full minute I was quiet. “I think she’s dead,” I said. “On my God. I think she’s dead. I killed my best friend.”

“She can’t be dead,” Runt said. “She can’t be dead. This wasn’t supposed to happen. Oh, jeez, T.R. You killed her! You’re a murderer!”

Vaguely I heard more footsteps. Someone else was coming our way. Let it be Tom. I didn’t care anymore.

I looked up to see Doc hurrying towards us. “I heard a gun shot,” he said. Pushing Runt out of the way, Doc dropped down beside Casey. “I’m a doctor. Let me look at her.” He felt for a pulse, then slowly shook his head no.

“I’m sorry.” he said. I fell on Casey’s chest and cried out her name in grief.

I heard another voice. “My name’s Grey. I’m a lawyer. What happened here?”

I looked up at Runt. He had a dazed look on his face and seemed oblivious to Doc and Grey. More people were walking down the hallway towards us.

I looked up at Runt.

“What do I do, Runt?” I asked.

He didn’t say anything.

“Runt! What do I do?” I stood up and grabbed at him for help. Blood from my hands stained his shirt.

“Don’t touch him!” Grey commanded. “You’ll contaminate the crime scene!”

I let go of Runt’s shirt. Tears still traveled down my face, dropping off my chin. “Call Ralph, Runt. Then dial 9-1-1.”

“Damn, I can’t call Ralph.” Runt blank features stirred as he turned his eyes to my face again. “I can’t tell Ralph C-C-Casey’s dead.” He could barely say her name. “Jesuschrist, his wife is dead. I can’t tell a man that.”

“Somebody has to. I want to stay with Casey.”

“No. NO. Not me. Let him call,” he said, looking at Doc. “Or you,” Runt said, turning to Grey. “I’m…I’m….”

“…going to run away?” I asked.

“Yes. NO. Oh, jeez, this wasn’t supposed to happen. It’s all your fault, T.R. Why’d you bring a gun?”

“Bring a gun? I’d been kidnapped, for God’s sake! This is their gun. I had to shoot my way out of there!”

“Shoot them? Did you kill them too? Jeez, T.R., you’ll be locked away forever!”

No, I didn’t kill them. I killed Casey! “They needed to be killed! They kidnapped me! THEY KIDNAPPED ME! Casey was just an accident...I…I didn’t mean to kill Casey.” My voice dropped to a whisper.

“But you did. You’re a murderer. My sister’s a murderer. She did it,” Runt said to the gathering crowd. “She did it,” he repeated loudly.

“And what about you, Runt?” I asked. “I’m all in here. The rest of the game is played cards up. How do you fit into this?” My nose was running and I gave it a quick wipe on my sleeve. “What are you doing here? What are you doing at Sirlo’s?”

“Hey, I’m just a computer geek doing a little job on the side here. I’ve done nothing wrong.”

“What about all that stuff you said at the roping arena? All that stuff the other night about the anti-virus program?”

“Hey, you guys just got it all wrong. I don’t know what you thought was happening. It was just a misunderstanding.”

“We need the coroner here,” Doc said.

“And the police,” Grey said. I heard Polly flap her wings behind me. Mother was making a tsk-tsk noise with her tongue.

A woman spoke up but it wasn’t Mother. Sonja? “Javi’s already called’em. He’s a cop.”

Javi a cop?

“Shut up, Sonja,” Javi said. “Murder’s a little out of my league ─ I’m DEA ─ but I put a call in. Detectives will be here in a minute.”

Dante took off his jacket and laid it over Casey’s head and chest. Blood instantly started seeping through the fabric. I hadn’t even seen Dante walk down the hall. I looked from the jacket to Dante, then to Runt.

“Get out, Runt,” I said. “Just get out! Run like you usually do. I’m the murderer, not you. I’ll take care of Casey and clean up your mess as well. Walk away now and leave this town forever. And don’t come back. If you do, I’ll drag you into every piece of trouble I’m in. I’ll lie through my teeth about you and so will Whitey and Shade. You’ll be in so deep you’ll never get out. You thought you had trouble before? Think again.”

Runt looked around at the small group of people gathered in the hall. He didn’t seem surprised to see them there. He looked back at Casey lying on the floor. Blood was pooling by her body, seeping out from under Dante’s jacket. Squatted at her side, holding her bloody hand, I watched Runt step over her and walk down the hall. He hesitated at the front door but didn’t look back.

“Bloody bad boy! Bloody bad boy!” the parrot cried out but no one else said a word. None of us moved. Everyone but me was staring down at Dante’s bloodstained jacket. I looked at the parrot to see if he was looking at Casey too but Polly was staring down the hall after Runt. “Bloody bad boy!” she said again.

To be continued.

SHUFFLE, Chapter Nineteen

The front door softly hissed closed. There was nothing to see down the hall but I kept looking there, hoping Runt would do the right thing and come back.

A movement on the floor commanded my eyes. Dante’s jacket moved slightly. Casey’s right hand appeared and pulled the blood-soaked coat off her face.

“You guys trying to smother me or something?” she bellyached. “That little turd left five minutes ago!”

We all laughed nervously.

“Just making sure the little turd was really gone, I guess,” Sonja said. “Jeez, you’re a bloody mess.”

“I might be a mess but I’m a damn good actress. And so are you guys. Maybe we should start a community theatre.”

“Naw,” said Javi, putting his arm around Sonja. “That’d cut in to my poker time more than the ladies do. Thanks for the shoutout to fun, T.R., but I left me a winning streak at Sonja’s place and I want to get back to it.” He and Sonja sauntered off, arm and arm. Was Javi really with the DEA or was he bluffing? You just never know about poker folker.

“Javi, you’re always on a winning streak,” said Grey, turning and following them down the hall.

Doc looked down at a smiling Casey. “She was such a pretty girl. Not much in the brains department, but pretty. Too bad she had to die so young.” Casey flung some fake blood at him and he put up his hands in self-defense. “I’m leaving. I’m leaving. My work here is done. See ya, T.R. It was fun.”

“Good bluff, Doc. Thanks, you guys.” I yelled down the hall, “I owe y’all. Drinks are on me.”

“Gee, thanks, T.R. I seem to remember something about drinks always being free where you work!” Grey yelled back, laughing. “Dante, you coming?”

Dante looked at me and shook his head. “You’re too much for a guy to keep up with, T.R. You got more guts than any man I know,” he said. “What with Hold’em. And snakes. And guns. Damn, T.R., datin’ you…well, there’s just too many balls in that bed. And the biggest ones are yours!”

He leaned over and kissed me on the cheek before hurrying after Doc.

I looked at his retreating back, then turned to Casey.

“Were you just dumped?” she asked.

I didn’t know. I didn’t care either. Nothing really mattered to me at the moment.

“That’d be fine with me,” she said. “He made me mad writing you that hot check.”

“Huh. Dumped. At least he put poker first on his big balls’ list. He’ll remember that set-over-set.”

The door shut behind him and except for me and Casey, the big building was empty.

And quiet.

But it wasn’t scary anymore.

I’d been scared since Sloppy was killed but I wasn’t scared now. Mad, yes. Hurt and disappointed, certainly. But I wasn’t frightened anymore.

“Runt, you little turd!” Casey finally said. The faux blood made a sucking noise as she sat up. “Just leavin’ me dead like that! Steppin’ right over me! Too chicken to even go tell my poor husband and babies.”

“A sack of saturated snake shit!” I said, my voice a monotone.

“A pouch of putrefied puppy poopy!” Casey shot back.

“A coop of calcified chicken caca!” I said with a little more feeling.

OK, those were good ones considering we hadn’t played alliteration cursing since we were in middle school and weren’t allowed to use real cuss words.

“I hate to think my own brother could be that hateful. I guess I knew he was low ─ but not that low. He is what he is, I guess. Do we tell Ralph about the role his fake gun and blood played in all this?”

“No way. We’ll not tell Ralph anything. He’ll never let me out of the house again. We going to clean this up?” she asked, looking down at the bloody mess.

“Hell, no. Let Sirlo clean it up. Let him wonder what happened here. Gosh, we’re going to get blood in that pretty yellow Hummer.”

It was too much to hope for that Tom Junior would have to clean up the disaster in the hallway. I knew better. He wouldn’t even have to clean up his mom’s car. But he’d have to face his father some day and clean up that mess. I’d make sure of that with a phone call.

I pulled Casey up off the floor and we walked down the hall together, our red footprints on the carpet growing fainter with each step. Outside Sirlo’s we took a deep breath of hot Texas air. It was over…sort of. I couldn’t help but sneak a couple of looks around to make sure Tom or Eddy weren’t waiting to nab me again. Or Aunt Lois. But Tom was probably home in bed and I definitely knew where Aunt Lois and Eddy were.

“I hope Aunt Lois and Eddy are all right in that tiny bathroom,” I said to Casey. “What if they died in there?”

“Get real, T.R. They’re not going to die there,” she replied. “They’re uncomfortable and it’ll be embarrassing when one of them has to use the bathroom but they’re not going to die there.”

“Yeah, I was just thinking of all the beer they’d drunk. At least they’re related. Maybe I should tell someone they’re trapped there.”

“Yeah, you should ─ tomorrow,” Casey said.

“Right. Tomorrow. First thing. I’ll do just that!” We both laughed.

OK, it was a funny visual of Aunt Lois and Eddy together in that dirty, tiny room. Still I felt sorry for Aunt Lois stuck with stupid, stinky Eddy. Better than me being stuck with stupid, stinky Eddy, though!

“Well, at least Runt’s out of it. Probably way out of it. Knowing him, he’ll run far away. This is trouble so deep even his love for The Barely Legal won’t keep him from riding backwards clear out of the state,” I said.

How Runt would get by in the future I didn’t know or care. The pickle he was in wasn’t my fault. It was all his doing. Besides, he had skills. He just needed to apply them in an appropriate, legal manner. I refused to worry about him, especially after what he put me through this past week.

“Yeah. You were right about needing witnesses. Legally, nothing would have stuck to him, even if Tom Senior wanted to press charges. Everything he did had Tom Junior’s permission all over it. Runt would have gotten off scott free. Again. We’ll have to start calling him Teflon.” Casey paused a moment. “I’m surprised Dante came, though,” she said.

“Me too. Maybe I’m not so dumped after all. Not that I care one way or the other, you understand.”

“Yeah, right. What about Shade?” Casey asked.

Hmmm. Shade. I didn’t know what to do about him.

“Runt. Shade. Dante. Eddy. Tom, both junior and senior. Men! They’re all the same ─ they’re users. I just haven’t figured out Shade’s angle yet.

“My house for clean up,” I told Casey as I started the Hummer. “Good thing it’s dark. We’d give anyone who sees us heart failure. Look at us. We look like we’ve each had a couple of surgical procedures.”

“We have. We cut a little turd out of our lives!”

Yeah. I wouldn’t miss the turd part of Runt but I would miss the little brother part. As far as brothers go, and they usually don’t go too far, he was OK. He was blood kin, my mom’s favorite child, my father’s chip off the old block. But Casey was right ─ mostly he was more a turd than anything else!

“I need to get rid of this Hummer, too,” I told Casey. “My Mustang’s still at Shade’s place.”

“No. It’s in the alley behind our house. Shade still has the duelie though.”

I pulled the yellow beast into my driveway. Casey jumped out but I just sat there for a moment. Home again, home again. Tonight I would sleep under my own sheets with my own pillows. No bogymen under the bed or in the closets.

Of course, that meant no Shade either but that was fine with me. I’d sworn off men forever the minute I overheard Runt say he used me, betrayed my sisterly feelings for him. Coming on the heels of a fifteen hundred dollar H.C. from a guy I’d been dating, and hearing about a sixty-something-year old man taking advantage of my good friend Weeba, I felt I learned my lesson: Men are not to be trusted. Never. Ever. No matter who they are or what they tell you.

I opened the door of the Hummer and stepped out.

To be continued.

SHUFFLE, Chapter Twenty

A blast of water hit me straight on, almost pushing me back into the vehicle. I put my hands out to protect myself and heard Casey’s evil laughter.

“Hey, T.R., you’re all wet.”

“Casey, you bitch!” I dived for the hose, pulling it away from her and pointing the spray of water right at her chest. She screeched as the cold water hit her.

“Shhh. You’ll wake my neighbors.”

“So? Who they gonna’ call?” she said, as she wrestled me for possession of the hose. “The police? I am the police.”

“Oh, yeah? You’re just a pistol-packing dispatcher!” I twisted her arm, trying to make her let go of the hose. Water sprayed everywhere.

“Ow. Ow. Ow. No fair.” Suddenly Casey stopped struggling and stood looking towards the street. I stopped fighting too. I thought for sure the cops were at the end of the drive but I was facing the opposite direction and couldn’t see what had caught her attention.

“Don’t look now but Runt’s duelie’s pulling into your driveway ─ probably with Shade at the wheel.”

“Oh shucks Miss Minny Mitchell!” I said. I don’t know what that means but my Grandmother Josephine always said that when confronted with bad news.

I didn’t turn around. I walked over to the faucet and turned off the water.

“We can’t let him see us with all this blood. He’ll tell Ralph and Miss Minny will really hit the fan,” Casey said.

I still hadn’t looked Shade’s way. “Casey,” I said. “Look at us. We may be wet but we’re not bloody anymore.”

She took a good look at me, then down at herself and burst out laughing. “Ah…hey,” she said, sobering. “It’s been fun, T.R., but I’m walking home. You two need to be alone.”

“No, wait. I’ll take you. It’s late. It’s the least I can do.”

“No, I’ll walk,” she said. When I protested, she added, “Hey, I’ve got a gun. And I know how to use it.”

“Thanks, Casey, for…you know…for everything.” She gave me a wet hug and started walking down the drive, saying hi to Shade as she passed the truck. Casey only lived a couple of blocks away. I knew she’d be safe. Like she said, she carried a gun, like most Texans ─ at least it seemed to me that most Texans carried guns.

I heard Shade open the truck door and then slam it shut. I ignored him and finished rolling up the water hose.

“T.R.? You all right?”

“Shade, hi…I…I….” What could I say? He put his hands on my shoulders and turned me around to face him. He tried to hug me but I put my hands on his chest and gently pushed him away.

No. “I..I..I’m wet,” I stammered.

“I don’t care. I’ve been so worried. I’ve driven up and down every street in this town lookin’ for you or a monster truck with flames. Toni said they were lime green but you can’t always believe what she says.”

He tried again to pull me close but again I resisted.

Damn, Runt! You jerk! You spoiled everything with your stupid tricks. You even spoiled what I almost had with Shade. How could I ever trust any man again? How could I ever believe a man when he tells me he loves me? I wanted to. And maybe I would eventually. But to love a man meant I had to trust him and I couldn’t right now.

“Listen, Shade. I’ve had a rough twenty-four hours. I just want to go into my own house and get into my own bed.”

“Then let’s go, Pokerface.”

“No. By myself. You see Runt…. I mean…he…he….” My voice died out.

I tried again.

“Shit…you see…Runt…he…he….” I searched for words to explain about Runt, to describe the events of the night, but it would take a couple of hours to replay all that had transpired at the warehouse and Sirlo’s offices, let alone verbalize the bubbling cauldron of my emotions ─ which I hadn’t even sorted out myself.

“You trying to tell me this mess with Runt is cleared up? That it’s all over?”

I nodded my head yes.

“Nobody’s after you anymore? You’re safe?”

Again I moved my head up and down.

“Thank God,” he said, putting his finger on my chin.

“No, Shade. Not now. Not tonight.”

“Pokerface, we’ll get though this. You and I together.”

“No, Shade. Not together. I need to get through this by myself. I need time alone. I need to find me again. I don’t need you to fix me.”

I needed to find my heart again and somehow forgive Runt. I knew I couldn’t move on until I did. I needed to get back to being a loving and trustful friend and family member. My mind was too full of emotion right now and I couldn’t forgive Runt with Shade by my side. He’d want to handle all my problems for me.

I needed to handle my own problems, in my own way, even if my way was totally wrong. At least it would be my way.

“So you want me to just walk away.” He dropped his finger down to my breastbone.

“Yeah, pretty much. That’s what I want. For now. For tonight. For however long it takes.”

At least that was what I thought I wanted tonight. I knew tomorrow I might hate myself for sending him away but I had to live in the now. Right now. And that’s what I wanted right now.

“Do you realize what you could be losing? We might both move on, go our separate ways, as they say. We might not be able to get back together again…this time.”

“Shade…I…Shade…Oh. Go. Just go. Some of it’s been fun and I really appreciate what you’ve done trying to help me. And to help Runt. But it’s over. It’s finally over.”

“I can’t believe this. It’s been fun, but it’s done, huh?” He smiled at me, a sad, wistful smile, not the arrogant Shade-smile. My mind flitted to my memory of how safe I’d felt with him holding me on the hot, burned earth. Shade taking my hand as we worked our way through the landmines of truck mirrors at the roping arena. The Shade-kiss behind the police station.

“I’m not happy about this, T.R., but I know better than to argue with you,” he said. “Every time I let you into my life, you walk away from me. Tana, a guy can only take so much rejection, can only wait around so long, then he’s…” Shade lifted his hands into the air, palms up. “…gone. Damn, I can’t believe this!”

I heard a car door slam somewhere out on the street. A cat meowed over the fence. A breeze rustled the leaves in the trees around us.

I sucked on my upper lip, trying to keep my emotions in check. I had been through so much in the last several days. I was afraid if I showed one emotion, the rest would come tumbling out after it and I’d cry all night. All tomorrow. All next week. I’d be a total train wreck. Right then I could hold myself together but if he didn’t leave….

His finger drew a line down my cleavage.

“Ahem.” Someone cleared his throat nearby. I jumped at the noise and Shade jerked his finger away from my breasts.

We’d thought we were alone.

“Am I interrupting anything?” Dante asked.

“As a matter of fact, you are. Get lost.” Shade said, turning his gaze back to me. Shade might charm the women but his charisma didn’t seem to extend to Dante.

A full minute passed but Dante didn’t move. He was still leaning against my house, arms folded in front of him. Finally he spoke up.

“I came to apologize to T.R. about something I said at Sirlo’s tonight when this thing with Runt went down.”

“He was there?” Shade asked me. He didn’t bother to give Dante a look. “He was there when all this crap came down on you and Runt?” The hurt in his eyes made the pain in my heart turn a different twist. Shade took a half step away from me.

Well, this was what I wanted, I thought to myself, what I needed. For Shade to back off and let me lead my own life in my own way. But I didn’t want to hurt him. I wanted to be able to change my mind. Woman do, you know.

“Don’t worry, Shade. The flack all came down on Runt,” Dante said. “No fallout hit T.R. I was there to make sure of that!”

“Sh..Sh..Shade,” I stammered. “It’s not like it seems. Dante was there but….”

Shade stepped backwards again. This time a full step.

“But it’s not like I invited him.”

“That’s not what my text message said, T.R.,” Dante spoke up again. I looked his way and the self-satisfied grin on his face told me he was enjoying the torment Shade was going through.

“Dante, damn it.” I looked back at Shade. “Shade, I didn’t just TM him. I TM’d all my regulars for help. Dante was just one of several poker folker who responded to the message.”

“Just one of the guys, T.R.? That’s all I mean to you? What about that kiss at Texas Way the other night?” Dante asked.

Shit! The dirty look I shot Dante should have knocked him on his backside. Damn him!

“You were at Texas Way the other night? You told me you were with Casey and going to the movies. And you kissed this creep? You wanted his help instead of mine?” Shade spoke very fast and sounded totally wounded. Suddenly he didn’t seem ten-feet tall and bullet proof anymore. He seemed normal for once. Normal and hurt. Not the kind of man urban myths are created around. Just a guy whose life wasn’t going the way he thought it should be going.

“I…I did go to the show with Casey. T-T-That was after Casey dropped me off at Texas Way. I just went to Moss’ to collect some money Dante owed me. Tonight I didn’t have time to text message everyone personally,” I explained to them both.

“I just needed witnesses….” My voice dribbled off.

Well, I wanted to be alone. If this conversation didn’t chase both men off, I didn’t know what would. Why didn’t I feel good about the way this whole situation was going down?

“Let’s get back to the kissing part.” Shade jerked his thumb Dante’s way.

I shot a look at Dante, hating him for making a bigger mess out of this than Runt already had. Dante still had that same grin on his face. I remembered how good his kiss was. Not chocha-catch-on-fire great, but still very good. I also remembered how great Dant smelled and how good I felt after the kiss.

God, I was so mixed up!

“Well, it was just one kiss.” I defended myself. “Exactly the same number of times you’ve kissed me lately, Shade, not counting that strictly-for-show one at the roping arena the other day. What right do you have to be jealous?”

“Jealous? Me?” he protested but then long seconds passed where none of us said a word, none of us moved. Finally, I walked between the two men towards the house. Both of them reached out and took hold of my arms, a man on each side of me.

There I was, soaking wet, suspended between Shade and Dante. I looked from one to the other and they respectfully removed their hands from me at the same time. I almost feel over.

Both Dante and Shade made another grab at me. This time their hands touched.

“Shit!” they both said and jerked their hands away from the male contact. Over my head each man gave the other a guy look, one that said, “Mine!”

“Don’t you have some place you have to be?” Dante asked Shade.

“Isn’t it past your bedtime?” Shade asked Dante.

“You sleepin’ with him?” they both asked me at the same time.

“Sure!” I responded. “I’m sleeping with both of you. On alternating days!”

They both knew that the part of my statement concerning each of them was untrue. I hoped they’d realize it was also a lie about the other guy as well. Being they were both so macho, I probably shouldn’t have held my breathe waiting for them to figure that out.

Like I cared what they thought!

Dante took me by the neck of my shirt and pulled me backwards so I wouldn’t be between the two men. The tug plopped me down on my butt in the wet.

They squared off, as men do right before they take on one another in a fight over something stupid.

“I think she was giving you the brush off when I interrupted you two,” Dante commented. His chest was puffed out and his hands had turned into fists.

“Well, I don’t see her inviting you in for a beer.” Shade swelled up like a rooster in a cock fight, which wasn’t too far off the mark for them.

I held my breath, waiting for them to come to blows. I hoped I was keeping the smile off my face. Part of me was delighted at the prospect of a fight. Men have never fought over me. I’ve always been one the boys myself, sort of a sister to guys. It was exciting to have these two studs going at each other, chest to chest.

Jeez, what was I thinking. I struggled to get to my feet in the wet grass.

“Ca-rap, you guys. We’re not in high school anymore. If you two have to fight, it won’t be about me. I’m going to bed.”

That stopped them in their tracks.

Shade took a deep breath and let it out slowly. His fists uncurled and became fingers again. He reached out and lifted my chin and made me look him in the eye.

“OK, you’re right. This isn’t between me and Dante. This is between you and me. Like you said, the fun is done. I’ll respect your wishes,” Shade said. He paused and swallowed hard.

“You’ll love somebody someday, Pokerface. You’ll love’em so much you won’t let’em walk away from you. It might not be me, damn it. And it won’t be this jerk,” he added with a look towards Dante. “But it’ll be somebody, I guarantee it. And you’ll know when you’re ready for love. Yeah, you’ll know. You’ll see the signs a mile off. Good thing Texas is mostly flatland.

“I’ll have a couple of my men return Runt’s truck tomorrow.” He paused again as he looked at the big yellow beast in the driveway. “Whose Hummer is that?” he asked.

“It’s a long story.” I was grateful things had turned civil again but my feelings were still very confused. It was good to focus on the Hummer. I was clear about my feelings towards the bright brute. “Could you have your men return it to Sirlo’s when they bring me Runt’s truck tomorrow? I don’t want to see those people again.”

“Sure.” He started to walk away.

“Oh. Wait.”

Shade turned his face back to me and lifted an eyebrow hopefully. “When your men return the Hummer, could they do it in the morning so they could go by Sirlo’s warehouse? There’s a monster truck in there that needs to be moved. It’s sort of blocking the door of a bathroom and…ah…er…there’s some people kind of stuck in there.”

“Ta-a-n-n-a-a Ro-o-s-s-e?”

“Morning’s soon enough. Honest. I’d bet on it.”

“I’ll bet you would. I love you, T.R. I always have. I hope I always will.” Shade turned and walked away. Not even a Shade-goodbye-kiss.

“See ya around, Shade,” Dante said, all arrogance and attitude.

“Go home, Dante!” I said and walked into my house, slamming the door behind me so both men would know the night was over, at least the part of their night that involved me. Leaning against the back door, I waited until I heard two truck doors slam and two vehicles take off down the street.

Damn, I never even told him that I loved him.

I wondered to myself which man I meant.

To be continued.

SHUFFLE, Chapter Twenty-One

For three months I dragged myself out of bed to deal Hold’em at Whitey’s and then dragged myself back home to bed again. I literally forced myself to pretend to be living my life but all I lived for was sleep, total oblivion. I was disappointed in life in general and men in particular.

My poker table was no longer the most popular one in Central Texas. I had lost my edge and attitude. I couldn’t even get my hair to spike anymore. Whitey and Angelina hovered over me like I was their ailing child, and I guess I was sick ─ sick at heart.

Dante came in several times. He had that old glint in his eye but I didn’t glint back.

“Hey,” he said. “How’s my girl?”

“I wouldn’t know,” I replied. “What’s her name?”

“Now, T.R. Be nice. How ya doing?”

I continued messing with my tip chips and didn’t say anything.

“Making conversation sure is hard with you lately, T.R. Usually it’s a give and take thing, ya know. I ask you a question. You answer, then ask me a question. Then I answer. You get it? Let’s try it again. I heard Runt left town. What do you hear from him?”

“Nothing. Not a damn thing.”

The morning after I shot Casey, Runt had sneaked onto Shade’s ranch to get back his big duelie. Then he loaded his horses into a neighbor’s trailer and rode backwards into Texas.

All his horses except Tonto. Whitey heard that Runt sold his supposedly beloved pinto to someone he met at the roping arena, probably that man I saw him talking to.

Damn that brother of mine! He didn’t even have any loyalty to dumb animals, selling Tonto to that stranger. I would have loved to have that horse. I did get his dogs, though. Runt dropped off Bud and Red in my back yard that same night.

Mom and Dad are paying his bills at The Barely Legal until they hear from him. They’re also buying the neighbor a new horse trailer. As usual, Dad said boys will be boys and things couldn’t have been as bad as I thought they were.

Want to bet on that?

Don’t they wonder why they don’t hear from him? Not having children, I guess I just don’t understand the kind of unconditional love they have for my brother. Parental blindness to everything except dealing poker, I guess. Go figure.

“See? That’s a little better,” Dante said, pleased that I had tersely answered his question. “Conversation’s easy. Next question. What’s Shade up to? I haven’t seen him since the night we almost got into a fight over you.”

Dante reached over and ran his fingers through my hair, trying to get it to stand up but it just flopped back down again. I slapped his hand away.

“Don’t touch the dealer!” I said, making up the new rule.

“Hey, that’s not conversation,” he responded. “Answer my question.”

“Shade? I’ve only seen him once since then myself,” I replied. “He came in a couple of weeks ago and played a few hands. Didn’t stay long.”

“What’d he have to say?”

“Nothing. Not a word.” What was there to say?

“He probably left here to go to Snoopy’s,” I said.

“Nah,” said Dante. “Sonja said she hasn’t seen him either.”

“Well, she should know.”

“So. With Shade out of the picture, you available again?” Dante asked.

“He never was in the picture. You just thought he was.”

“He thought he was too. That’s not what I asked. The question was, are you available?”

I wrinkled my nose and shot him a dirty look. “You sitting at my table to talk or to play Hold’em? If it’s to play poker, buy yourself some chips ─ with cash.”

“Girl, you hold a grudge against a man for a long time, don’t ya? Hmmm. Not available yet, I take it. Well, welders are patience guys. They wait until the temperature heats up just right before they apply their tool.”

“Good grief, Dante,” the man next to him said. “That’s disgusting!”

“Hey, just telling the truth about my trade. Take it any way you want.”

“Buy chips or move on, Dante,” I said.

“What happened to the snake-handler that beat me set-over-set? She was real sexy. You know, that wild girl with the big balls?”

The guy next to him gave him another weird look. If the man hadn’t had such a big pile of chips in front of him, I’m sure he would have moved away from Dante to another table.

“That was my twin,” I said abruptly. “She left.”

And so did Dante, after tossing ten hundred dollar bills on the table to clear his hot check debt. “I’ll be in touch,” he said, as he walked away. “You can bet on that.” I didn’t even look up.

I justified my abruptness with the rationalization I was doing him a favor, because, to tell the truth, Whitey’s room is a little too high-dollar for Dante. He earns good money, just not good enough for Whitey’s poker room. Him with little welder’s burn holes all over his clothes Even his dress clothes, although I don’t know how he manages to do that.

Casey was the only person I really wanted to talk to but, after all, she had a family and a job of her own to deal with. And, anyway, you might say she’d already given at the office ─ Sirlo’s office.

I couldn’t talk to Weeba about my problems. She was so happy and I didn’t want to bring her down. It turned out she’s totally delighted with her situation. So is Sirlo Senior.

Casey and I went to see Weeba at her apartment a couple of days after Runt left town. When we knocked on the door, it was opened by a very attractive, white haired, older man I took to be Tom Senior himself. I definitely could see what caught Weeba’s attention. She picked a doozy to finally look in the eye and show her chickchismo, even if he did look totally out of place in Weeba’s bland digs. Let’s face it. The man was slumming in this neighborhood.

“May I help you?” he asked. I couldn’t help but think he could almost be our grandfather ─ if he’d had a baby early in life and that child reproduced early too. OK, maybe I was pushing that a little bit. Of course, I could also see how losing this sophisticated man could drive poor Aunt Lois crazy. But maybe she was crazy before he went astray with Weeba. Jeez, I’m totally confused about other people’s relationships, let alone my own.

“We’re here to see Weeba,” I said. I thought I might as well get the introductions over with as soon as possible. “I’m T.R. and this is Casey. You must be Tom.” Meeting him under any other circumstances I would have called him Mr. Sirlo. As Weeba’s beau, he was just Tom.

Tom Senior just stared at me and I knew he was trying to think of something to say. I’d called him the day after all the action hit his place and told him everything as I saw it. He was quiet on the phone. Unbelieving, really. I gave him a couple of facts he could check out that would verify my account of the story.

Hadn’t he wondered how I knew about all that red on the carpet that morning? Didn’t he worry about who had squished his wife and nephew into his warehouse bathroom with his own son’s monster truck? OK, he probably didn’t really care about that one.

Oh, well. Believe me or not, Senior. At least it’s over for me. My part in his mess was done. Except for the Weeba part. She’s my friend, now, yesterday, and tomorrow.

Weeba came up behind him. She looked pale and distraught, like we’d caught her in the act of doing the deed itself.

Nobody said a word. Finally Casey broke the awkward silence. “Congratulations! I mean about you two having a baby.”

Casey shot me a look that said, if you’re wrong about this, I’m going to kill you. I shot her one back that said, if I’m wrong, what’s Senior doing here.

Weeba burst into tears and everybody started talking at once.

“Dear, come sit on the settee,” said Tom Senior. Settee? OK, that word alone proves he’s too old for her. But, hey, at least she has a love life. Unlike me.

“I hope those are happy tears,” said Casey, handing Weeba the box of tissue that was on a nearby table. “But then, I remember what all those baby-related hormones do to your emotions.”

“Jeez, Weeba,” I said. “I thought you were a virgin.” Ca-rap! Why’d I go and say that?

Casey let out a hoot. Weeba started laughing through her tears. Tom just looked bewildered.

“You’ll get used to T.R., Tom,” Weeba said. “But it’ll take a while. Guys, I tried to tell you two about the baby a hundred times. I was afraid of what you’d think about me. I’m so sorry.” She started to cry again.

Tom was sitting on her right, patting her hand. Casey sat down on her left. “What’s there to be sorry about?” she asked. You don’t need to apologize to us.”

“I’m just so ashamed,” Weeba wailed.

“Ashamed! What’s there to be ashamed about?” I asked.

Another wail went up from Weeba. “I’m pregnant by a married man?”

“Hey,” I said. “In most people’s book, getting preggers by another woman’s husband is a step up from being an underground poker dealer. You’ll get no judgment from me.”

“Nor me,” said Casey. Tom Senior leaned over and kissed Weeba on the ear.

Weeba gave a weak smile. “I just could never find the right time to tell you so I let you guys go on thinking I had the flu.” She took a hold of Tom’s hand. “We’ve known for quit awhile. I just didn’t think you guys would find out and come tell me I was pregnant!”

Conversation paused and Weeba cocked her head at us. “How did you guys find out I was pregnant?”

Apparently Senior was keeping Weeba out of the loop about the latest happenings. I assumed he would tell her everything. Guess not.

“T.R.,” Tom said. It was the first time he’d spoken to me. “I’m not much good in the kitchen. Would you help me make iced tea for everybody?”

“Sure, Tom.” I looked at Weeba. “We live in a big small town, girlfriend.” She smiled at me and nodded her head, accepting the explanation.

As Tom and I walked into the kitchen, I heard Casey start in on wedding plans for the prospective parents. She was carried away by the romance of it all ─ and the tons of money involved. If she has her way, it’ll be the wedding of the century. And, of course, it will mean a new wedding tradition. Weeba will need two maids of honor ─ one to hold the bouquet and one to hold the baby.

Me? I won’t need any maids of honor. I’m never getting married. I’m never falling in love again. I doubt I’ll even fall in like.

Kissing’s OK, though. Kissing’s good.

“I am so sorry for all you had to go through, T.R.,” Tom said as he put a kettle full of water on the stove. “I can’t possibly make it up to you. But I want to thank you for…for…everything but especially for not upsetting Weeba with all of this. Being unwed and pregnant hasn’t been easy for her.”

“Sure.” I thought of a couple of hundred cutting remarks I would have made if he had been someone our own age. But he wasn’t and for once in my life I kept my mouth shut.

“But at some point you’ll have to tell her about all this,” I told him. “I wasn’t exaggerating when I told Weeba this is a small town. She’ll hear about it from someone and if that someone isn’t you, she’ll lose faith in you. She’ll give you back that big diamond ring real fast.”

I was guessing about the ring. I hadn’t noticed one but I felt sure if it wasn’t on her finger, it was safely tucked away in a drawer in her bedroom.

“She’s stubborn,” I continued. “Stubborn enough to raise this kid on a dry cleaner clerk’s salary. Do you want visits with the baby on the first and third weekends of the month or the second and fourth weekends?”

Senior passed his hand through his hair and studied on what I’d said. I could tell he knew I was right. Finally, he nodded his head and picked up two of the glasses of tea we’d been making. I grabbed the other two and we went back to the living room. He sat down beside Weeba again.

“Dear,” he said. I could only imagine my response if Shade or Dante started a conversation with me like that. But then I’m not Weeba. And Shade’s not speaking to me and I’m not speaking to Dante.

“Maybe we’d better go,” I said to Casey.

“No. Please. Stay,” Tom said. “You can help me with the details.”

Weeba looked from Senior to me and back again.

“Dear,” Senior started again and he actually got a long way into the story all by himself. He told her about how Lois ─ somehow she’ll always be Aunt Lois to me ─ recruited Runt to bypass the biometric security system at his company and do a little computer digging. He didn’t gloss over his son’s part in the problem, or his nephew’s. Or what had happened to me. I’d have to fill her in later on Shade. And Toni. And Dante.

He told her about my little old phone call to him and how I had given him a head’s up on the computer mess. He’d hired expert help to get it fixed. Believe it or not, Runt’s program actually was helpful to the company in the long run, he said, although neither he nor I were technical enough ─ OK, I’m not technical at all ─ to tell anybody how exactly it was helpful.

At least Sirlo’s had gotten rid of a major virus ─ Tom Junior. Senior said Junior left town unexpectedly and must have taken Eddy with him because nobody he knows has heard a word from either one of them.

He told us lots of other stuff I’d been wondering about as he sat there holding a stunned Weeba’s hand. Consuelo had gone back to Mexico as she had planned to do anyway but she went with a bonus in her pocket, which she hadn’t planned on. She’d given Senior an earful since she’d seen quite a bit during her night shifts at Sirlo’s.

Senior also told me that Aunt Lois and Eddy were rescued by Shade’s men from the warehouse bathroom the morning after I locked them in there. She was furious, as you can imagine, and promised all kinds of hell upon me, Tom Senior, and Weeba, especially after someone told her Weeba and I were best friends. Luckily, Senior committed her to a loony bin way over in West Texas before she could carry out any of her threats.

I bet she has the cleanest, best-pressed wardrobe of all the patients there.

We drank our iced tea and Weeba told Casey and me that she’d quit her job at the cleaners and that Tom had bought her a grand house in an extremely nice part of town. They’d be moving in soon.

With a promise of marriage on her finger ─ and a big promise it was, five whole carats worth ─ she was looking forward to motherhood and being Mrs. Sirlo the Second, after, of course, Mrs. Sirlo the First was out of the picture. Their marriage wouldn’t be too soon, though. The baby would be born by the time the divorce was final and they could get hitched.

It was another month before Weeba started feeling better. By then the poor wallflower of Bryan High School was living large with the man of her dreams. Casey was back to her pure life, the one that was the nuts.

Me? It took awhile for me to get back to what I call normal. One afternoon I rolled over in bed, felt Red Bull’s warm body next to me, and moaned, waking myself up. “Shade,” I said, before I had a chance to think. I sat up in bed and realized my brain had cleared of its toxic fog. My heart was beating pure blood again instead of a lethal mix of contaminated distrust and poisonous hate.
For the first time in a long time I felt human. The world appeared bright again. I looked around my little house, saw the filth and clutter I’d been living in lately, and started cleaning. I showered, spiked my hair, and sat down on the living room couch with a cold beer.

Something was missing from my life. Oh, I still had my house, my Mustang, my addiction to dealing poker. I had adopted Red and Bud and loved them greatly. But something deep inside me was missing.

The missing part wasn’t Runt. I was totally better off with that no good brother of mine completely out of Texas. Well, I guess he was out of Texas. He was certainly out of my life.

It wasn’t sex I was missing. I’d gone without sex before and for longer periods of time than this. OK, I’ve never really had a lot sex and definitely no good sex. Yet.

No, that missing something was Shade.

I smiled when I thought of him standing on the trash can at my bathroom window and wagging his finger at me. How he first told me he loved me. I’d seen him drive by my house a couple of times and I wondered if he still felt the same way about me.

When I was trying to say goodbye, he’d told me there’d be a sign to tell me when I was ready to love again. Well, calling the warm body of Red “Shade” was my sign and I knew I was ready for that cowboy to come back into my life. I wondered if he needed some sort of sign too.

I got up off the couch and went to the garage, the dogs at my heels. I took two old garage sale signs, stapled them worded sides together, and nailed them to a tomato stake.

With a large magic marker I wrote:

Saddle maker wanted.

Must play poker.

Apply within.

I took the sign out to my front yard and hammered it into the lawn. The dogs and I stood back to admire my work.

It needed something else. I took the marker out of my shirt pocket and printed again on the sign:

Immediate opening!

Lord, yes.

The End!