See Dick run!Language has puzzled me ever since I first started reading about Dick and Jane playing with each other. As a child, my brain’s transference of letters and complete syllables made reading aloud a sweat-producing, pants-peeing experience.
Given enough time and tears I could figure out most words. The dose of medicine the little does swallow does make a small child cringe and a grown woman weep. And I’ll be ill in Ill. if I have to read aloud there.
I panicked seeing p’s, q’s, d’s, and b’s in words. The word dumb could be pump, dump, or bump. Quiet could be quite or quit. I never knew which. I stayed in a continued state of confusion which my parents and teachers didn’t understand back then.
“You’re just not concentrating,” they’d say, or worse yet, “You’re being dumb.” Or was I being pump or bump. Got me.
My father was a writer and books and magazines at our house were age inappropriate for children. “Daddy,” I remember asking, “Why do people send their money to Texas?”
“I’m not so sure they do,” he replied. “Why do you ask such a question?”
“These things,” I said, pointing to some resource information he was looking at. "They say, 'Everybody pays texas.' ” I bet California wishes they could set up such an arrangement.
Plus, of course, there were word twists. Rita and Wayne became Wita and Rayne, Uncle Tom and Aunt Martha became Uncle Mom and Aunt Tartha.
As my chronological age gathers speed, I find my mind slipping backwards towards those days of mixed letters. Just the other week Renee and I were at a garage sale where I unexpectedly asked the shocked seller, “How much for your “fucket of brogs?”
I know we're not welcome at that house anymore but I’m hoping Renee will start garage sale-ing with me again soon!
Given enough time and tears I could figure out most words. The dose of medicine the little does swallow does make a small child cringe and a grown woman weep. And I’ll be ill in Ill. if I have to read aloud there.
I panicked seeing p’s, q’s, d’s, and b’s in words. The word dumb could be pump, dump, or bump. Quiet could be quite or quit. I never knew which. I stayed in a continued state of confusion which my parents and teachers didn’t understand back then.
“You’re just not concentrating,” they’d say, or worse yet, “You’re being dumb.” Or was I being pump or bump. Got me.
My father was a writer and books and magazines at our house were age inappropriate for children. “Daddy,” I remember asking, “Why do people send their money to Texas?”
“I’m not so sure they do,” he replied. “Why do you ask such a question?”
“These things,” I said, pointing to some resource information he was looking at. "They say, 'Everybody pays texas.' ” I bet California wishes they could set up such an arrangement.
Plus, of course, there were word twists. Rita and Wayne became Wita and Rayne, Uncle Tom and Aunt Martha became Uncle Mom and Aunt Tartha.
As my chronological age gathers speed, I find my mind slipping backwards towards those days of mixed letters. Just the other week Renee and I were at a garage sale where I unexpectedly asked the shocked seller, “How much for your “fucket of brogs?”
I know we're not welcome at that house anymore but I’m hoping Renee will start garage sale-ing with me again soon!
Fucket of brogs!!! You made me laugh out loud! What makes me laugh out loud even more is WHY anyone would have a fucket of brogs for sale...and WHY anyone would want to know how much they want for their frucket of brogs!
ReplyDeleteSorry about your reading frustrations when you were a child. I hated teachers who forced students to read aloud when they were so obviously uncomfortable doing so! Thats just not right...or write...or rite.
Malisa
I hope you don't have to go sale-ing alone long! The English language is very hard. The older I get, the more I question my spelling of words & if they are the right ones.
ReplyDeleteBeing a transplant I get made fun of all the time. My kids will at every opportunity make fun of my Texas Twang. They laugh everytime I say "Y'all I'm fixin supper" They will respond with "Why? Is it broken?"
ReplyDeleteKind of like the same confusion & frustration
ReplyDeleteI experience trying to operate my computer.
There I thought Walfart was my new favorite word... now it's frucket of brogs.
ReplyDeleteSo you had some special teachers too?
Where's that first video? Be brave, just do it. Video Doug's toe talking to you....
You always make me laugh, but childhood is hard. I like what Gladys said about "fixin",even though I am not a native Texan I find this a very useful word! As in I am fixin to go back to Malisa's blog and make a Wacky Wednesday comment! Angie
ReplyDeleteDoes this mean it's going to become harder and harder to read your blogs?
ReplyDeleteFor a child with a reading problem, you grew up to write quite the novel! My problem is that I just can't spell.
-FringeGirl
dyslexic I am, so I gave up making sense years ago, In school they said it was a handicap, I was a straight A student! As an adult it just makes me seem interesting. I would have given you the frogs just for making me laugh! Thank goodness for spell check, now I need grammar check or at least does this make sense check! ~Jacque
ReplyDeleteThanks for making me laugh so much this morning! As they say, "shit happens"! You know, thankfully school has changed some, but it's still tough being a kid these days, because some of those little ones can be cruel. It all comes from home and learning to like people for "who they are", not all the other small stuff. When Katie was in 4th grade, all the kids in Long Beach that came over from Cambodia were bused to my kids school. Katie loved Pom Pan Pitch (can't spell the name) until Pom Pan gave the entire forth grade class a bad case of lice! But even after the lice episode, they remained little friends! Sue
ReplyDeleteI have been on my bed for a week now, I am starting to feel better now, I have not been sarage saleing for a few weekends due to things I couldnt help, bit trust me you have said wilder things than frucket of bogs, on trips!
ReplyDeleteYears ago, my parents bought stock in Fuddruckers.
ReplyDeleteYeah.....Mom always slipped and mispronounced it.....Rud *uckers. Best part of all, she'd turn red in the face, and be lost for words in embarrassment.
I hate to laugh...but as we all grow older, something goes wrong with all of us....better to laugh and move forward. Life is to short to worry about what we can't change. I can't believe you live in Bryan. I live in Jewett and come to Bryan/College Station nearly every week...maybe we could do lunch, if you would like.
ReplyDeletestation
I know I'm so "behind" in my getting to everyone's post, but this one was too good to let pass without a comment. You actually made me laugh out loud, which I so enjoy doing. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteSince you told me about your sister a while back, go read my blog... Encouragement abounds!