Saturday, January 31, 2009

A fiction-writing/photo-taking/eggnog-drinking demonstration!

This is a true story about a drunken sailor pirate blogger who went off to sea see Queen Victoria, Texas. He She didn't start out drunk. It kinda crept up on her.

Ya see, it was toe-covering...

smoke-snortin' cold that night in Texas.

The blogger's ugly daughter and the blogger's ignorant husband had both bought warm, matching coats (buy-one-get-one-free-yippee sale) that day butt but the poor blogger got none. She was so cold!

The blogger's old maid daughter and the blogger's bald husband both got to play with pretty guns butt but the poor blogger had to take pictures. Her fingers had turned to ice and she could hardly push the go start shutter button!

So the beautiful blogger went to Donnie's 60th 5oth birthday party alone!

She remembers making seeing the darling decorations.

She remembers bringing finding a stash of eggnog. She remembers much drinking. MUCH DRINKING! A lot of swallowing!

So much drinking swallowing that the blogger realized she needed to find a terlet so she wandered around looking for one but all she found was a skinny Christmas tree.

When she tried to take a picture of the tree with her flash, she found a drunk Curtis in the teal green terlet.

Things were getting fuzzy for the beautiful blogger. She had consumed tested a lot of eggnog, trying to get warm and trying to forget her troubles.

When the gracious owner of the property invited the blogger into her home to view her wonderful collection of clocks, the drunk blogger happily accepted. But alas. The eggnog had done snuck up on her.

The blogger was too drunk happy to take an in-focus picture. But the collection was wonderful! Things the blogger loved and wanted to steal.

The photos got blurrier and blurrier. Many were taken but few turned out.

The unknown blogger was so upset she cried out in despair, "Kiss Donnie's butt! That'll learn me not to touch that dern eggnog!"

And that was the last time she ever did kiss Donnie's butt!

The end!


  1. oh my. what a tale! you are going to have to give up the NOG. It's a good thing they only make it once a year.

  2. I didn't think stores were still selling nog...

    Is this part of your secret stash?

    Gotta say that you ladies in Texas sure do have purdy guns. If I saw one that purdy, I just might buy it and hang it over my bed. I'd threaten the snores right outta FringeMan.

    Have a happy hangover...oh, I mean weekend.

  3. Was that a Christmas tree or a stripper pole? Do you have another talent I don't know about?

  4. And I wasn't invited? Dang! My kinda party! Must have been a big party to have a porta pooper...or they didn't trust ya'll in their house! Hmmm.

    Great post!


  5. You never fail to put a smile on my face when I read your blog! Thanks

  6. Cher, thanks so much for your sweet words. I really appreciate them!


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