Ever since I was a little girl, I've wanted to be a famous inventor. Oh, nothing complicated like electronic or space-oriented thingys. Just something simple that could make me millions.
So far I've invented three thingys. Make that "had three ideas" because if you don't act fast on inventions, someone else does and then they make the big bucks.
My first invention is a TV remote control condom. Called RCCs by persons too embarrassed to use the full term, the condoms will be found next to the bible in the top drawer of the dresser in every hotel room. It protects the user's hands from germs on remotes since they can't be cleaned by the maids. Be sure to practice on bananas before leaving on a road trip.
My second invention is a tubing system that turns the average toilet into a bidet. It's called the Bidlet. I won't go into details but I have it all worked out in my head and believe me, it will work! Remember when Oprah and Dr. Oz asked the audience for a show of hands from those people who had a bidet in their home? Only Oprah and Ozie raised their hands. My invention would change that audience's response and change the world!
The third invention I just put into practice Tuesday when some fool of a friend (I'll call her PJ to keep it simple) came over to my house. I call this one Gstay, sort of a condensed form of garage-sale-but-you-stay-at-home. The FoaF (fool of a friend) puts out the word that they are looking for items you might or might not have. If you have them, you take a picture and send it to the FoaF. If she wants to buy them, or trade for them, you let FoaF know what you're willing to take for them.
A deal is struck and then...what? This sounds familiar?
Ebay? Never heard of it. You sure? Well, FoaF apparently hasn't heard of it either because she drove all the way over here to pick up a huge pile of crud that I was going to pay someone to haul off. She left me with the mother load of good cowboy stuff in the above photo.
Guess Gstay is out. Someone else must have made the money on that one. I'll stick with the RCC and the Bidlet. Anybody want in on ground floor? I need investors!
So far I've invented three thingys. Make that "had three ideas" because if you don't act fast on inventions, someone else does and then they make the big bucks.
My first invention is a TV remote control condom. Called RCCs by persons too embarrassed to use the full term, the condoms will be found next to the bible in the top drawer of the dresser in every hotel room. It protects the user's hands from germs on remotes since they can't be cleaned by the maids. Be sure to practice on bananas before leaving on a road trip.
My second invention is a tubing system that turns the average toilet into a bidet. It's called the Bidlet. I won't go into details but I have it all worked out in my head and believe me, it will work! Remember when Oprah and Dr. Oz asked the audience for a show of hands from those people who had a bidet in their home? Only Oprah and Ozie raised their hands. My invention would change that audience's response and change the world!
The third invention I just put into practice Tuesday when some fool of a friend (I'll call her PJ to keep it simple) came over to my house. I call this one Gstay, sort of a condensed form of garage-sale-but-you-stay-at-home. The FoaF (fool of a friend) puts out the word that they are looking for items you might or might not have. If you have them, you take a picture and send it to the FoaF. If she wants to buy them, or trade for them, you let FoaF know what you're willing to take for them.
A deal is struck and then...what? This sounds familiar?
Ebay? Never heard of it. You sure? Well, FoaF apparently hasn't heard of it either because she drove all the way over here to pick up a huge pile of crud that I was going to pay someone to haul off. She left me with the mother load of good cowboy stuff in the above photo.
Guess Gstay is out. Someone else must have made the money on that one. I'll stick with the RCC and the Bidlet. Anybody want in on ground floor? I need investors!
Okay. You got me! I am a bidet freak! And they are so dang expensive...guess there is not much call for bidets in Texas! You can put the prototype in my house...and I will be the "butt" of the joke if it doesn't work!
ReplyDeleteAbout the RCC. Could you tweak your plans just a little and use the condom for the customary use AND to change the channels! Baby, try channel 2...OHHH, no channel 3...Sugar, let's go for channel 13! And then it turns itself off! Just a suggestion. I know how sensitive you inventors can be!
I wonder what the patent office would say...hmmmm....
ReplyDeleteAmy
Unfortunately, the name "Bidlet" is already taken. It's some kind of Java applet software used to place bids on online auctions. Have you considered the name "Fountain of Flush"?
ReplyDeleteHow RUDE!! There I offered to be your friend when no one else will! I want my stuff back... Herbert is sensitive to all that road kill you made me take.. do your neighbors KNOW that you're skinning that stuff in your back yard? The SMELL...
ReplyDeleteI'm not talking to you anymore...
ReplyDeleteHow RUDE!! There I offered to be your friend when no one else will! I want my stuff back... Herbert is sensitive to all that road kill you made me take.. do your neighbors KNOW that you're skinning that stuff in your back yard? The SMELL...
ReplyDeleteI still want to e your friend, What time are we going in the am? I need a med. size piece of haired hide would like cow! Don't want to cut up my new hide. I know a cow was hit some where this week.
ReplyDeletePoor PJ. She's gettin' old and repeatin' herself!
ReplyDeleteThe Texas Woman
Wow! With inventions like that you are gonna be rich AND famous too. Just remember us little guys and gals when you're on Oprah and The Morning Show hanging with your famous, rich peeps. Hope your investors are putting up some big money, because I want one of those Bidlets when they hit the markets.
ReplyDeleteYou're already a legend in your own mind-now you want to be rich and famous too? Tn'T
ReplyDelete