Unluckyb@$!@#d!

Hubby Juan Luckybastard is considering changing his name. Apparently, he isn't feeling that the next few weeks will be his luckiest.

Ya see, I had a little surgery at MDAnderson Friday that installed a Power Port into my chest. This will make chemo infusions much easier and is the only way to handle the upcoming harsher chemos.

The port is placed below the collarbone under the skin. Tubing from the port is tunneled upwards towards another incision which is made to help thread the tubing downward into the jugular vein. The whole procedure takes about an hour, following an hour of prep with an antibiotic transfusion. It takes about hour in the recovery room after the operation.

Cute cowboy boot slippers from Joan that I wore in the hospital!

No biggie, really. I had a fairly comfortable night in a propped up position in our fifth wheel travel trailer. A small amount of pain in the morning saw me taking a pain med. If we'd been home, I could have done without it but we had to drive our rig home and that's a bumpy ride after a surgical procedure.

So what does all this have to do with Juan wanting to change his last name to Unluckybastard? Well, postoperative instructions for him were MUCH longer than the ones for me.

My list only stated that for two weeks I cannot lift my arm above my head or straight out to the front or side. I cannot lift over 20 lbs. I cannot drive.

Here's Juan list for the next two six weeks :

• Juan shall do all incision dressing changes.
  
• Juan shall drive me wherever I want to go.
  
• Juan shall do all grocery shopping as well as the putting away of said vittles.
  
• Juan shall do all vacuuming, laundry, and ironing.
  
• Juan shall empty dishwasher (it involves putting dishes away over my head).
  
• Juan shall change bed linens.
  
• Juan shall unload travel trailer (and load, if need be).
  
• Juan shall continue to work to support me in the manner I have become accustomed to.
  
• Juan shall continue to visit and monitor his mother's care and feeding.
  
• Juan shall continue with all of his usual chores around the house.
  
• And, in his spare time - if there is any - Juan may gather with his male friends and fly his precious remote control airplanes.

I think you get the drift of the proposed name change.

And, of course, Juan shall do all this while putting up with my chemo treatment aftereffects. Just so he understands what he's in for during the week, I've renamed the days.

Chemo Friday, of course, is the day we travel to Houston for treatment.
Steroid Saturday is definitely a good day for me. If I plan on doing anything at all during the week, that's the day to gitter done! Of course, I'm a little chatty on Steroid Saturday, usually starting at 5 a.m. and continuing until bedtime.
Sucky Sunday, when the steroids have worn off, starts the downward slide into Chemoville.
Mattress Monday is a very tired day for me. The dogs and I sleep in every room of the house.
Flu Tuesday is full of achy muscles and fatigue.
Wild Card Wednesday can be good, can be bad. It's a wild card kind of day, all right.
Thrilling Thursday is the closest day to feeling back to normal for me...most of the time.
And then we're back to Chemo Friday, starting my week - and his - all over again!

Poor Juan. Poor, poor Juan.