Monday, September 14, 2009

Guest blogging b@$!@#d!

Since The Texas Woman has been a backsliding blogger lately, I, her husband Juan Luckybastard, have decided to guest blog today in an effort to get Cher back to her laptop.

Oh, I remember the days when associating Cher with a lap top meant something totally different to me than it does now but I'd better not go down that trail. She might not let me come back to blog again.

Like my name implies, I count myself lucky. While most men are forced to change into their wife's idea of an ideal husband, Cher is becoming more and more like me! Soon we'll have matching hairdos, or should I say matching lack of hairdos since we'll both be bald. And in a matter of months we'll have matching chests too — both flat.

At first, Cher wondered if the lack of these human accessories would effect my feelings towards her but I pointed out that she fell in love with me when I was both bald and flat-chested and I know I'll love her when she's bald and flat-chested too!

But the best part of the new Cher will be that I'll get my pick of these lovely ladies to spend time with...

...ahhhh, would number two please step forward?


  1. Dear Juan,
    Tell Cher to go to Frederick's and get one of those stripper tresses for you while she's at it!
    Smart man!!!
    It ain't about the gift's the goodies on the inside that counts!

  2. Good choice on number two. You certainly are a lucky man! We miss Cher and hope she finds her laptop soon. In the meantime, we are praying for her and wishing her lots of strength for a quick and speedy (as speedy as possible) recovery.

    The way I see it, there are many advantages to this look of yours - no brushing and no bra!

    Send our love to Cher. Nice of you to post!

  3. You guys have such a great attitude! Keep it up - your love will get you through. Come see us at Warrenton if you can. Susan & Andy

  4. Texas Hubby, you are indeed Juan in a Million! Thanks for getting on Cher's laptop (don't hurt her) and letting us know what is going on! Tell Cher that Imogene prefers the Dolly Parton wig line...lots of cute, sexy hairdos! Imogene does most of her shopping in online wig stores so she wont be mobbed by her fans and there are some good online I hear! Juan, I have a neon green wig and a bright blue wig if you are interested...might be kinky!

    Give Cher a hug for me!


  5. Hey Juan and Cher, I named my little sidekick Roxie. She had a life of her own and I was never quite myself when we were together. Roxie was a sexy little minx and always caused a commotion wherever we went! I miss her but am glad to have my own head of hair back.

    XOXO, Bonnie

  6. Ohhh, how nice to hear from someone. We miss our Tacky Tuesday journalist. Juan, maybe you can bring about Tacky Tues. in your own style!!!! You are definately one lucky man,,,, glad you are taking care of our dear blog sister..... we miss her bunches!!! oh and yes, when you go in for that surgery, THEY COULD GIVE YOU A SET OF THOSE DOLLY PARDONS.... then you could get one of those wigs, like hers.... could be a new career move!!

  7. I choose that # 2, as well! Cher has a good Juan, in you, and you know you ARE Juan lucky B@#$@#D, yourself! Take care of Cher and give her our best wishes!
    hugs, Sue

  8. OK, so I am the one who has had the bald head AND the flat chest (still have the (or the lack there of) the flat chest) and I am here to're definitely a good Juan. My hubs also was and is my best supporter- much better than any "support bra" I ever owned. The only thing is when we go to KFC, he instinctively orders a "couple if big breasts" - gee, I'd like that too..

    Actually, maybe not. I seem to be saving a huge chunk of change by not needing to purchase overly inflated (price wise...heehee) bras.

    So, on a serious note, thank you for being so supportive...gee, I can't stop thinking about Playtex support bras..

    And hang in there. As you I'm sure have heard, attitude is everything. And I am a full believer in "No-cancer" talk about thinking..just play and have screen her calls and tell her good friend that today is a NC day..and to call back at another time :-)

    PS - please know you can contact me any

    After all, I went to "Cancerland", rode all the rides and didn't even request a visitor's pass!

  9. Juan LB, she should allow you to post more often, loved this. I think she should take one of the wigs, put a purple streak in it, just to change it up a bit. I've been thinking about her!

  10. a week without cher-ing is...
    one damn long week...

  11. Thanks Juan. . . I loved the humor and it was heartfelt in many ways! Tell Cher to get her ass back online, okay? We all miss her!!

  12. Cher is one lucky woman to have you Juan! With that attitude Totally Tasteless Tuesday will be back soon. Keeping positive thoughts for you all!

  13. So glad that Cher has your strong and steadfast love and support. That's Juan-derful! Prayers continue.


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