More cancer musings

I sleep like a chicken with gas. Let me explain.

A couple of days after my breast biopsy my left underarm started swelling slightly and painfully. The doctor said it wasn’t infected, nor could it be galloping cancer. It was probably a reaction to the biopsy.

A couple of days later my right underarm started doing the same thing. I wasn’t able to get a good night’s sleep because of the pain and worry but Doc said everything still seemed OK.

Of course it worried me even more when the good doctor called me while on his vacation to see how I was doing. That’s never a good sign in my book!

Meanwhile, at the hospital, M-L-L’s arm swelled up (quite large). Nurses elevated it by hanging her arm with a tube sock (OK, it wasn’t a tube sock but that’s the best description I can give you) from an IV hanger. Her swelling subsided.

Hmmmzzzz, my sleep-deprived mind thought.

That night I surrounded myself with puffy pillows. I stuck my fists into my armpits and propped my elbows high on the pillows, sort of like a sleeping dancer doing the chicken. Lo AND behold, the next morning the swelling and pain in my armpits were much less.

Since I was such a genius, I decided to tackle another problem that will be looming shortly — pill swallowing. You see I’ve never, NEVER been able to swallow pills. I’m not on any meds now so I don’t get a chance to practice much. And anyway how many of any one type of pill can a person swallow in any one setting to learn how to do it!

Furniture Man bought me a large bag of M&Ms for practice but I couldn’t swallow them either. I just kept thinking of the waste in swallowing good chocolate whole without even tasting it! Instead, I pulled a can of baked beans out of the cupboard.

Need I say more?