Wednesday, August 19, 2009

More cancer musings

I sleep like a chicken with gas. Let me explain.

A couple of days after my breast biopsy my left underarm started swelling slightly and painfully. The doctor said it wasn’t infected, nor could it be galloping cancer. It was probably a reaction to the biopsy.

A couple of days later my right underarm started doing the same thing. I wasn’t able to get a good night’s sleep because of the pain and worry but Doc said everything still seemed OK.

Of course it worried me even more when the good doctor called me while on his vacation to see how I was doing. That’s never a good sign in my book!

Meanwhile, at the hospital, M-L-L’s arm swelled up (quite large). Nurses elevated it by hanging her arm with a tube sock (OK, it wasn’t a tube sock but that’s the best description I can give you) from an IV hanger. Her swelling subsided.

Hmmmzzzz, my sleep-deprived mind thought.

That night I surrounded myself with puffy pillows. I stuck my fists into my armpits and propped my elbows high on the pillows, sort of like a sleeping dancer doing the chicken. Lo AND behold, the next morning the swelling and pain in my armpits were much less.

Since I was such a genius, I decided to tackle another problem that will be looming shortly — pill swallowing. You see I’ve never, NEVER been able to swallow pills. I’m not on any meds now so I don’t get a chance to practice much. And anyway how many of any one type of pill can a person swallow in any one setting to learn how to do it!

Furniture Man bought me a large bag of M&Ms for practice but I couldn’t swallow them either. I just kept thinking of the waste in swallowing good chocolate whole without even tasting it! Instead, I pulled a can of baked beans out of the cupboard.

Need I say more?



  2. Ingenious! Baked beans! My mother doesn't swallow pills either. Since she has had cancer, we have been able to get her liquid meds or used a pill crusher we purchased at the pharmacy. My daddy taught me how to swallow pills by making little bits of bread into pills.


  3. I would not have wasted those choc. M&M's either! Glad the swelling is better!

  4. Baked beans, huh? I've heard that you should never eat more than 239 beans at one time.

  5. Geez Cher, glad I'm not sleeping with you tonight...poor IT guy. He was only trying to help himself when he suggested the M&Ms!!! ;)

    I knew you were a smart woman to self fix your swelling! You go girl!!!!

    By the way...did you ever find out if daughter IS actually reading your blog? She must not be because we heard from you today and you are still moving around! ;)

    I'm so happy you still have your wit and good humor, please don't let it disappear with your boobies!

    Have I told you lately that you are ONE awesome Texas Woman????

    everything vintage

  6. I have to agree with Jodie. . you are, in my book, ONE awesome Texas Woman even if you did really, really like Bush!

  7. There you go, self-medicating like all the good Texas women before you... How do ya think the republic really got started? But you really got it wrong with the beans? BEANS??!! what were you thinkin' girl!

  8. It took me a long, long, time before I could swallow a birth-control pill. HeHe!! Glad you fixed the swelling problem. Hang in there! I'm hoping to see ya at T's Blog Party!


  9. You're hysterical. Try swallowing some Gas-X.

  10. FringeGirl has a nice suggestion! Glad the propped elbows worked. Very creative. Good to hear your musings. ~Mindy

  11. Oh. My. Heck...a chicken with gas...too funny! Hey I learned to swallow a handful because if I was going to take them one at a time, I would have never made it! Just pop all the pills then use a really great beverage, like sugar-free kool-aid and take a big gulp, fill your entire mouth and...swallow!

    OK, so if you're having any other thoughts, worries, etc. I'll let you know from my perspective. One thing I did was to leave my surgeon a little message right on my b**b, smiling and telling him he could earn his merit badge in sewing if he did good :-)

    Take care and just focus on the more bra strap indentations!!!!

  12. I hope you are feeling better and I hope it only took a few beans to get it right!

  13. Cher - I have now read your blog posting three times...and crack up laughing at the beans each time. Hope your swelling is going down and they figure out what is causing it. Should we all chip in for a gas mask??? You take care....


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