The Texas Woman

Dallas-style gun holsters!

Big, bouffy Dallas hair is not a myth. It’s a fact, although no one knows why or how it started.

But in 1991, when the Killeen Luby’s Restaurant rampage turned family dining into one of the deadliest shooting massacres in American history, Texas women realized that Dallas hair was a great place to hide a gun.

Hairdressers started building styles even higher and wider to accommodate newly-bought firearms. Taking Dallas hair into consideration, Texas lawmakers passed a concealed carry law making it legal to hide a gun on your body or in your purse.

The fad of big hair faded slightly as our memories of that terrible day dimmed, but with the recent threat on our Second Amendment right to bear arms, Texans have taken a new interest in buying and carrying firearms.

Once again, Dallas hair is making a comeback and men are changing the look of their summer wardrobes. Ya see, it ain’t easy hiding a Glock in your shorts.

So I offer the following hints to criminals on whether or not their "victims" are carrying.

~ Is that lean, in-shape dude wearing baggy jeans that AREN’T showing his underwear?

~ Is that man's shirt untucked and hanging out around his hips but he has no beer belly to hide?

~ Does her big purse with easy-access not co-ordinate with her outfit?

~ Does the right side of his Dockers hang lower than the left and he can't keep from playing with something in his pocket?

~ Is her hair Dallas big?